


Unbroken Ties

by Shujinkakusama



Series: Unbroken Ties [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Ask Blog Fic, F/F, Fluff, Gen, Illustrations, Minor Original Character(s), Originally Posted on Tumblr
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-08
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-04-13 16:11:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 33,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4528557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shujinkakusama/pseuds/Shujinkakusama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Communication between the Crystal Gems needs a lot of improvement! Following the events in "Friend Ship," Garnet and Pearl agree to run a blog to answer people's questions at Steven's request in the hopes that it will strengthen their friendship. / Art included!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Setting the Board

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome aboard! I'm crossposting this in part to keep everything organized for my own sake. The blog itself is SquareLoveBirds on Tumblr. (I have just discovered that you and post art in fics on here, so the art will be preserved here as well!)
> 
> The storyline is somewhat in flux, since many posts and segments depend on reader's input. Hopefully, I can keep it going. This is a really new format for me! I hope you like it.
> 
> The main ship is, of course, Pearlnet, but there will probably be mentions of others along the way. Tags will update accordingly.

 

 

> _Anonymous Asked: Pearl, you seemed pretty ecstatic after you fused with Garnet, what does it feel like being fused with her?_

 

 

“Oh! Ah…” Pearl felt color suffuse her cheeks, and she glanced nervously toward the other Gem in question. “They certainly get… right to the point with these questions.”

 

Garnet’s face was unreadable, arms folded neatly across her chest. “This one’s all yours,” she said flatly. 

 

Pearl winced inwardly. “I was afraid you’d say that…”

 

Drawing in a deep breath to steel herself, and to garner her thoughts, Pearl explained:

 

“When we fuse, there’s nothing separating us anymore. Garnet is warm, and funny, and strong—she’s confident, secure… She loves herself. That is, Ruby and Sapphire love each other, and love Garnet; love being Garnet.” She had to blink rapidly against the beginning of tears in her eyes, and she squeezed her hands so tightly in her lap that the knuckles turned blue. “All the gaps… all the cracks left in me, from the war, from—after, they’re filled. I can’t be afraid in that light. Everything else fades away when we’re Sardonyx. There’s nothing in the world but us. Her. I can lose everything I’ve ever thought about myself, because all I can feel is Garnet. Even after we unfuse that feeling stays… for a while.”

 

She scrubbed at the wetness in her eyes, mustering up a wobbly smile. “I hope that answer’s satisfactory.”

 

Garnet remained silent.

 

* * *

 

 

> _  
> Anonymous Asked: Hey garnet. How do you feel about pearl? Like does she mean anything to you?_

 

 

 

 

“Pearl, I’ll handle the next question. You should start a kettle; Steven and Connie will be back soon,” Garnet said sharply, and Pearl reflexively drew her hand away from the mouse as if scalded. The notification remained at the top of the screen.

 

“Garnet?”

 

“You know Connie likes tea.”

 

The other Gem looked briefly perplexed, but nodded and crossed to the kitchenette. Satisfied that she was out of hearing range, Garnet clicked on the notification.

 

Her brow creased, lips pursed in a tight frown. 

 

“Of course she does; why would I be upset with her if she weren’t important to me?” Garnet spoke through gritted teeth. “We’ve known Pearl longer than I’ve been myself. We’ve been through more years together than humankind has had civilization.” Her breath hitched, but barely, and she drew in a long breath. “Pearl is the closest friend I’ve ever had. I expect her to act like it.”

 

* * *

 

> _  
> Anonymous Asked:  Garnet, in what ways do you find strength through Pearl?_

 

 

 

 

Garnet hummed thoughtfully, mulling the question over. There were more reasons than she cared to divulge, knowing full well that Pearl would someday see the video of her answer. Even if the purpose of sharing a blog to answer things had been to improve communication, sharing those things with strangers before her fellow Gems seemed unsettling.

 

So she thought, camera running, staring past the computer screen and half-watching as Pearl bustled about the kitchen to prepare tea and snacks before Steven and his human friend made it home. As ever, Pearl was dedicated to her task, arranging every spoon, tea sachet, and cookies with meticulous attention to detail that would be lost on the children. 

 

The kettle screeched only momentarily before Pearl could remove it from the burner, and it drew Garnet out of her revere.

 

“Pearl has been a constant for as long as I can remember. With her there, I don’t have to worry; I can be optimistic; work toward a better outcome. Pearl can look from a different angle, with fresh eyes, and won’t risk others needlessly. I can rely on her to push onward when things look bad. And she’s supported me when I needed it to move forward,” Garnet’s voice dropped, barely above a whisper, in time to see Steven burst through the front door, Connie in tow, damp from playing too close to the shoreline and tracking sand. 

 

She watched with detached interest as Pearl tried to shift her attention from handing off a cup of Connie’s favorite tea, still too hot to drink but nearly finished steeping, to giving Steven a one-armed hug as the boy barreled into her. Quick, inhuman reflexes and years of having to maneuver around Amethyst’s pranks saved the three of them from super-heated disaster. Connie cheered, praising Pearl’s dexterity while Steven clung fast like a starfish, and Pearl smiled brighter than she had in days.

 

A smile crept across Garnet’s lips, however faint. “She keeps me in the moment. In this house, on this planet, in battle. If she can keep going, so can I."

 

* * *

 

> _  
> Anonymous Asked: garnet, how did you feel after you found out pearl lied to you?_

 

 

 

 

These questions were getting too forward. Garnet’s first instinct was to summon her gauntlet, to smash her fist clean through the screen, as if she could reach whoever had sent the question. Ruby’s Gem burned in her palm, and she clenched her fingers in a tight fist around it. Breaking Steven’s computer wouldn’t solve anything, she told herself, and if she did, the message would still be there; Pearl would eventually find out. 

 

Feelings were something Garnet struggled to articulate; her habitual silence was no accident. She ran as hot as she did cold, and sorting out who and where emotions stemmed from—the more complex ones—was no picnic. 

 

“Hurt. Betrayed. Angry,” Garnet said, voice low, to keep from drawing attention. Pearl was indulging the children as they told her what they had seen and done during their adventures, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t hear. The fusion steeled herself, shoulders set, face tipped downward, even though she knew no one could see through her visor. “My world shook. I never expected… I thought she knew better. I was torn in two. Emotionally, literally.” Unclenching her fists, Garnet stared down at the paired gems in her palms. “We haven’t been apart like that, not since… It takes a lot. Pearl has no idea how much influence she has over me.”

 

Something nagged at the back of her consciousness, a feather-soft tickle behind her third eye. Garnet looked up sharply, her gaze locking with Connie’s. The girl froze mid-step, brown eyes wide, and Garnet’s mouth shut with an audible clack of teeth.

 

 

“I— I was just going—“ Connie stammered, drawing both Steven and Pearl’s attention. The human girl waved her hands wildly in front of her. “I wasn’t trying to—“ 

 

“You’ll need toilet paper; it’s out,” Garnet said, and her voice was tighter than she might have liked, but certainly not dangerously so. The Crystal Gem allowed herself a smile, one she hoped would put Connie at ease. “You won’t be able to reach it, though.”

 

“That’s right! We had to hide it so Amethyst couldn’t compromise the door to the temple,” Pearl gasped, having forgotten altogether. She placed her teacup—still filled, because while she enjoyed the smell of boysenberry and violet, drinking was nigh unthinkable—down on the counter and rose to lead Connie across the house. “Come on, Connie, I’ll take care of it.”

 

“Ah— thanks Pearl!”

 

Garnet watched them go, sighing inwardly. Another potential disaster narrowly avoided. It seemed that the remaining unrest following the past few weeks still weighed heavily on her heart, and she turned, intending to shut the laptop and return to her room for the night. Wide, doe-like eyes met hers, scant inches from her face, and for a brief moment, Garnet froze.

 

“Steven, you’ll fog my glasses,” she admonished gently, reaching to smooth his tousled curls away from his forehead. 

 

Undeterred, the boy stared longer, searchingly, and Garnet wondered briefly if he could somehow see past her visor. Then without warning, he climbed into her lap, settling in immediately. “I want to show you some cat videos,” he said, reaching for the mouse and bracing a hand on Garnet’s knee. She let him, happy to relinquish control of his computer, and leaned back against the couch to look up at the ceiling. 

 

Steven hummed while he scrolled through pages of search results, looking for the perfect video. Garnet could feel some of her tension ebbing away in the relative quiet of the room, and she closed her third eye. For now, the moment was enough; the respite was enough. 

 

“You don’t have to answer people’s questions if you don’t want to,” Steven said abruptly, opening several videos in separate tabs. “If they’re upsetting… I mean, that’s not the point. It’s supposed to be fun.”

 

“I don’t find talking to strangers ‘fun’, Steven,” she replied, tugging him closer for a warm hug. The fusion set her chin at the crown of his head. “Especially about me."

 

“Then you don’t have to! We can delete it, it’s oka—“

 

Garnet shook her head, no. “You’re right that we need to talk. It’s very important if we’re going to move forward down the right path. Besides…” she trailed off briefly, then shook her head. “I want to find out what Pearl thinks.”

 

“About what?”

 

Pearl stood awkwardly in the junction between the temple and Steven’s room, as if mid-step, with Connie not far behind. Both looked apprehensive, but Pearl looked ready to flee at a moment’s notice.

 

“Uh-“ Steven started, and Garnet cut him off.

 

“Steven found these great cat videos,” she said smoothly, adjusting her goggles and putting on a smile. “Come watch them with us. There’s room for you both.”


	2. Joseki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Steven inflicts cat videos on the uninterested, and Connie learns more about the Gems in one night than she has in months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place the same night as chapter one, but I wanted to break it up since the second part has a very different feel. I may try to post one or two answers per installment from here, unless they're fairly short. 
> 
> "Joseki" is a term for a play sequence in the game Go--it can translate as "set stones" but also refers to the pattern on the game board. I am terrible at actually playing Go, so feel free to correct me if I make a mistake mentioning it again in the future!

> _ Friendlykuromi Asked: Garnet. I see that your going through a bad time with these people asking you emotional questions. So I'm going to ask you,what do you like to do with Steven the most? _

 

 

In the reprise between videos, Steven had made the executive decision to check messages on the Gems’ blog. They had since moved on from cats; Pearl couldn’t entirely appreciate the beauty of things that looked like miniature versions of Lion, and an hour into related videos that spanned from bears to parrots, to chameleons and cockatiels, and most recently to river and sea otters, Steven could sense that he was enjoying much more of this bonding exercise than the others. Connie had since gathered the blanket from Steven’s bed to cocoon herself in, but for the most part, she had taken up the task of explaining away Pearl’s concerns about humans interacting with wild animals to get video for the Internet.

 

A red notification in the upper corner of the browser caught Steven’s eye, and as he fumbled with the mouse to click on it, Pearl leaned toward the screen, noting the post count.

 

“Garnet, were you answering without me…?” she asked, voice uncertain, eyes searching Garnet’s face. 

 

Garnet tried not to frown, and though she didn’t turn her head, she looked away. “They were directed at me specifically.”

 

Connie watched Pearl’s shoulders slump just barely, the perfect picture of resignation. Steven hadn’t told her much about their fight; he seemed to have been somewhat lost in the details, and Connie hadn’t felt comfortable asking. But the tension between them was unmistakable. Garnet had been stiff, quieter than usual, almost completely unengaged during the last hour of her visit, and Pearl fidgeted in a way so human that it was unsettling. 

 

“It’s a question about us!” Steven declared, starry-eyed, as he turned to show Garnet the message by way of shoving the entire laptop into her hands. He wiggled excitedly, nearly losing his purchase on her knee. “What’re you gonna say? I want to know too!”

 

Garnet considered for a moment, gently placing the computer back on the table. “Hm…”

 

“Is it camping? Swimming? Watching _Crying Breakfast Friends_?”

 

The Gem chuckled, “Definitely not that last one.”

 

“Aww!” Steven groaned, flinging his arms dramatically over her shoulders. “Is it training? Missions? Video games? Singing?”

 

“Garnet sings?” Connie asked in a whisper, leaning around Pearl’s shoulder to look up at her instructor. Steven continued on, listing activities without giving Garnet a chance to cut in. 

 

“She sings very well,” Pearl affirmed wistfully, “But not very often. Not in front of others.”

 

Steven’s list was growing progressively more desperate, and with each frantic suggestion, Garnet’s small smile grew. 

 

“What do you think, Steven?” Garnet cut in, ruffling his hair fondly. “What’s your favorite thing?”

 

That stopped his barrage of suggestions short, and he scrunched his face up in thought. It wasn’t an easy question. Weighing the options in his head, and looking from one hand to another, visualizing pros and cons—none of that helped. 

 

“I can’t decide,” Steven said finally, “I like all of it. Everything with you there’s great.”

 

Behind the safety of her visor, Garnet felt the prickle of tears at the corners of her eyes, but she smiled and tugged Steven into a warm hug. “Then that’s my answer, too. Everything is my favorite.”

 

* * *

 

 

 

Several playlists and channels later, well into the night, Connie was asleep in a half curled ball, using Pearl’s leg to make up for how terribly small the couch cushions were. Steven had followed her example, still half sprawled across Garnet’s lap, huddled between the two Crystal Gems, with his fingertips barely brushing Connie’s.

 

That left Garnet and Pearl with no room to escape without disturbing either of them, and Pearl sat rigidly, one hand buried in Steven’s thick hair, the other wedged into the couch to give Connie space. Not that the human girl seemed to want it. She had been dozing off and on for the better part of the night, more often than not with her face pressed against Pearl’s shoulder.

 

“They can’t possibly be comfortable like this,” Pearl murmured, casting an uneasy look up at Garnet. 

 

Steven answered with a rumbling snore, and Garnet gave the leg loosely draped over hers a soft pat. The boy didn’t stir. “He’s down for the count,” the fusion said, “Looks like you’re sleeping on the couch tonight.”

 

She wasn’t surprised that the joke went cleanly over Pearl’s head, and she chuckled to herself all the same. But when Pearl spoke, panic bubbling up in her chest, it cut Garnet’s mirth short. 

 

“What do I do? Do I just sit here?” Pearl asked frantically, keeping her voice hushed, she reached instinctively for her friend, but stopped herself short, a hand hovering between them. Long fingers twitched, longing to settle safely on Garnet’s arm, but with the past week weighing heavily between them, she didn’t dare. “Garnet, don’t go, please—“

 

“I’m not going anywhere,” Garnet tipped her head to the side, watching as relief and uncertainty flitted across the smaller Gem’s face. She indicated Steven’s location, still sprawled across her lap. Pearl nodded, pale cheeks dusted a soft teal. The fusion sighed, pulling her visor away from her eyes and allowing it to vanish in hand. The glow it generated drew Pearl’s gaze, and she slowly lowered her hand to stroke Steven’s back absently. Her fingers shook, just barely, but even in the dark Garnet could see the tremor plainly.

 

“You’re a wreck. You don’t need to worry about something going wrong while they’re asleep. It’s nothing you can’t handle, Pearl.”

 

An obedient nod wasn’t the answer she had hoped for. “Pearl, look at me.”

 

Sure enough, glossy blue eyes turned toward her at her request, wide and hesitant. “Garnet?”

 

“You can handle two sleeping children until morning. What you cannot do is change the past. And there’s no point wallowing in it. Just move forward.”

 

Pearl’s brows creased, thin lips turned downward in a frown. “I don’t…” she sighed, extracting her left hand from the couch’s maw to push back her hair. “Garnet, I hurt you so badly. Sapphire and Ruby, too. I almost got us all killed. By Peridot, of all things! I was so… so thoughtless.” Her vision swam, clouded with tears, and she scrubbed the back of her palm across her eyes to slow them down. “I was selfish and risked everyone. Everything. I can’t trust myself, how can I expect you to trust me again?”

 

“We’re talking about two different things.” Garnet’s voice was almost gentle—but Pearl could hear the beginnings of ire creeping in. 

 

“I can’t stop thinking about it,” Pearl admitted in a whisper, “I couldn’t even consider your feelings. You mentioned finding Peridot at the hub, and it just… that was it. I couldn’t do anything else. Everything hinged on that.”

 

“You took it as a mission objective.”

 

Pearl laughed, but the sound was empty and hollow. “Still a Pearl,” she muttered sardonically, and Garnet felt her stomach churn at the pain in her companion’s voice. “I suppose being defective doesn’t mean I can think for myself after all. I can’t get by for a second without--”

 

“Pearl!” Garnet cut her off with a low hiss, “That’s caste talk. You’re your own Gem.”

 

Connie stirred against Pearl’s side, and she turned her attention to the girl, a good distraction. She held her breath, watched the wrinkle of the girl’s brow, and smoothed back a tendril of her hair from her forehead. When the girl visibly relaxed, sighed so contently that Pearl’s heart swelled in her chest, the Gem forgot to breathe. It was one thing for Steven to be affectionate and welcoming, when he had known her even before he could walk, but his friend, her student…

 

“How can any of you trust me with the mistakes I keep making? With the errors? My plans, my lessons, everything—How can I move forward on my own when I keep failing like this?” her voice was barely above a whisper. “If I make one wrong step, how many more casualties…”

 

Pearl jolted when Garnet’s fingers brushed her cheek, and she turned to find herself face to face with the fusion. “Stop. You haven’t been like this since the war,” Garnet whispered, voice a low rumble that the petite Gem could feel down to her core. She couldn’t help tightening her grip in Steven’s hair. “Trust me when I say that things are fine now. Here. With us. Focus on this, and do not lose yourself in what was or might be.” Pearl’s mouth opened, prepared to protest, and Garnet intercepted her with her fingers over her mouth to silence her. 

 

“For tonight, you need to rest. Clear your mind of worries and guilt,” she said firmly, “You aren’t your mistakes. You’re bigger, stronger, and you’ll overcome them with time and work. Just close your eyes. Don’t think. Just listen to my voice.”

 

She obeyed, going without protest as Garnet pushed her into a reclining position. For the briefest of moments, the fusion looked uncertain—but barely—eyes darting in turn between the sleeping children, then back to Pearl’s pale face, barely illuminated by the moonlight that crept in through the loft window. Garnet’s fingers left her lips, settling over the hand on Steven’s head.

 

And Garnet began to sing.

 

_ To go on changing and without _

_ Are both hard, but I like the two of us as we are _

 

_ I go on spreading the wings of dreams on a back of showering stars _

_ A space flight that makes the heart dance, to the far distance… _

_ Let’s look for what smiles we lost by rushing too much _

 

_ When I’ve forgotten freedom _

_ You give me courage to look at the true face _

_ Let’s dance in the stardust _

 

_ Now in these joined hands _

_ A small miracle is being born… _

 

Despite herself, despite her best efforts, Pearl felt warm tears spilling down her cheeks. It had been thousands of years—it was a song Chrysoprase would sing after battle, one of the few old Homeworld songs that had lifted spirits rather than destroyed them. She knew every lyric, every note like the back of her hand, but her own voice had never held a candle to their comrade’s. Garnet’s voice, however, was warm and soothing and all-encompassing, and with only the two of them, the two sole survivors out of the thousands that fought for Earth, to fully understand its meaning, it held an entirely different message. This time, when she reached for Garnet’s arm, there was no hesitation, and she pressed her face into the darker Gem’s shoulder while she cried. Garnet’s fingers threaded through hers, resting her cheek against the cool surface of Pearl’s Gem, and she sang on.

 

_ Both long ago and now, we look at the starlit sky _

_ I want to be reborn over and over next to you _

_ When I’ve forgotten nature _

_ You give me land to run on with bare feet _

_ These overlapping shadows _

_ A new history goes on overflowing _

 

_ Let’s dance in the stardust _

_ I go on spreading the wings of dreams on a back of showering stars _

_ A night flight that makes the heart dance, to the far distance… _

 

 

From where she lay, still nestled against Pearl’s side, Connie peeked up at the strange display before her. Garnet’s song was haunting and soothing, bittersweet and hopeful, and nothing like anything she had ever heard. She forced herself to look away, to give the Crystal Gems some kind of privacy, and found Steven staring at her, no doubt awake for the same reason she was. The boy reached, extending his hand just barely in invitation, and Connie nodded, slipping her hand into his palm.

 

_ In these joined hands _

_ A miracle is being born... _

 

 

_ In these joined hands _

_ A miracle is being born. _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Garnet's song comes from cobbling together pieces from a Two-Mix song translation--"Meeting on The Planet", which also had an English release with very... different results. It also apparently did not receive a symphonic remix, oops.


	3. Gaining Territory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Pearl does badly on a mission, but learns something about fusion after the fact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Gancena (and the anon) for giving me an excuse to come up with this installment!

 

> _Gancena Asked: How'd you guys manage to fuse in that tiny tiny trap?_

 

 

 

 

The question had been ready and waiting for almost a week now; Pearl had been the one to receive the first notification, but a mission had wiped it from the forefront of her mind. Retrieving artifacts, fighting Gem monsters, those tasks were an easy way to pass the time while Peridot apparently laid low. Most recently, the missions hadn’t even needed the full team. Pearl went alone on several, rarely gone more than a few hours at a time. A methodical approach, some time to get her wits about her, and a handful of bubbles in her color turned out to be just what she had needed. She could act without instruction—admittedly, not against anything truly deadly, but she preferred not to risk coming home two weeks later after the way Steven had reacted last time.

 

She suffered minor injuries on most excursions, but the results were what ultimately mattered.

 

Telling herself that helped, somewhat.

 

Pearl returned from her most recent mission to a darkened house, with the beginnings of a golden sunrise illuminating the beach outside. The temple still cast deep purple shadows overhead, stretching toward the shoreline, and she allowed herself a quiet sigh of relief. Half a world away, it had been a sweltering day, which made fighting a dozen fire nautiluses almost unbearable. 

 

“You’re back early.”

 

The Gem all but squawked in surprise, whirling on the warp pad and finding herself faced with their leader.

 

“G-Garnet!” she stammered, bringing a hand to her chest as she readjusted her breathing. “I wasn’t—were you going to warp somewhere?”

 

“I was expecting you.” Garnet nodded toward the living room. “We’ve had more questions.”

 

At that moment, Pearl could barely muster up the strength to care about some silly humans asking questions on the computer. She was sore, physically exhausted, and wanted to enjoy the tranquility of her room in blissful silence until her wounds stopped stinging. Still, her heart soared at Garnet’s invitation. A few weeks ago, she wouldn’t have been able to allow herself hope that the other Gem would offer her even that much notice. And without a second thought, she followed, trying not to drag her feet despite the overwhelming feeling that she was pulling a ton of bricks with each step. 

 

Garnet made it to the couch long before she did and had already made herself at home by the time Pearl collapsed beside her, slumped bonelessly against the back cushion. The fusion eyed her for several moments, watched the way her narrow chest heaved with each breath their kind had no real need for, then reached to lay a hand on her shoulder. The Gem in her palm—Sapphire’s—made contact with the peeling remains of a wound, persistently refusing to cool and heal even hours later, and Pearl hissed, jerking away.

 

“Singed a bit, were you?” Garnet teased, but she wasn’t smiling, and Pearl offered her arm for further inspection. 

 

“Fire mollusks… with exploding seed canons,” she murmured, flinching in anticipation even as Garnet gently lay her palm over the injured area. It began to glow—a soft purple that faded to blue, and Pearl felt Sapphire’s ice magic spread slowly across her shoulder, down her arm. She whined, the sensation so wildly different from the way her wounds burned that she almost couldn’t take it, and Garnet held her down with her arm folded across the smaller Gem’s torso.

 

She received no reply until the heat of the wounds had been well and thoroughly numbed, and Pearl couldn’t feel her fingers for how cold her arm remained after the fact. “You aren’t suited to fight fire elementals alone,” Garnet admonished, examining her other arm before moving on to her torso, applying magic where her clothing was singed and torn. Pearl shivered at the feeling of Garnet’s fingers prodding at her thigh, then to her swollen knee, but knew better than to argue. Her friend had to kneel on the floor, then lifted her leg, setting her ankle over one shoulder while she continued her work, leaving a trail of frost in her Gem’s wake. “You should have brought me along.”

 

 

Pearl flushed, altogether unused to seeing Garnet on one knee, much less from an angle like this. When no sound would come forth despite her mouth being open she took a gulp of air instead, stalling while she tried to find her voice. “So-sorry,” she managed finally, through teeth that chattered from the thin layer of ice dusting most of her extremities. “I expected fewer fireballs.”

 

“Plan better next time. We need you to come back in one piece.” Satisfied with her handiwork, Garnet eased Pearl’s leg back down from her shoulder, and despite the numbness, she winced at having to bend her knee. The pale Gem nodded vaguely, leaning forward despite her exhaustion to rest her torso over her legs in the hopes that the cold would abate soon. She knew better than to argue and didn’t have the energy to spare regardless.

 

Tired eyes drifted shut and Pearl wasn’t sure how much time passed before she felt the couch sag behind her, followed by the familiar weight of Steven’s spare comforter over her back. She glanced up, surprised to see Garnet half way behind her, one leg folded while the other was bent at an angle. Pearl drew herself up again, resting bony elbows against her knees for support. The fusion said nothing, tucking the blanket in around Pearl’s much smaller frame, before putting an arm loosely around her shoulders. Pearl froze, her blush spreading clear down her sternum and up to the roots of her hair. She scarcely dared to breathe. 

 

“Garnet…?”

 

“You'll take forever to warm up on your own,” Garnet said simply, waiting for Pearl to relax. When she didn’t, stiff and frozen and looking like a prey animal shortly before lunch, a half smile quirked Garnet’s lips. “Breathing would help. Or you can stay frozen ’til Steven and Amethyst get home if you really want to.”

 

The smaller woman shook her head, no. Then after a too-long pause without breath, she sighed, loosing one hand from under the comforter to brush her cold fingers against Garnet’s wrist, where her sleeve gathered. “Is this… all right?” Pearl’s voice shook and her knees still clattered against each other under the blanket. “I don’t—If you don’t want to, you shouldn’t—you already helped with the burns, and…”

 

“You worry too much,” Garnet exhaled through her nose, then tugged Pearl with her as she leaned back against the couch. Pearl gave an undignified yelp that sounded almost avian, but allowed herself to be pulled, settling comfortably against Garnet’s bare shoulder; at some point, the other Gem had phased away her breastplate, and Pearl couldn’t help feeling thankful, despite her embarrassment. “I didn’t wait for you because I had to. And I’m not staying out of obligation.”

 

Unsure of her own voice, Pearl settled for nodding, and Garnet accepted that. For a long while, they sat in silence, enjoying the unprecedented peaceful air of the beach house in each other’s company. As the chill faded from her wounds, Pearl could feel her body trying to piece itself back together, a different sort of tingle than the ice had left behind. With luck, she would be done healing—or mostly done, at any rate—before Steven could be worried. The last thing Pearl wanted was to worry the boy with wounds that would go away on their own. 

 

But for now, she could just enjoy the familiar comfort of being at Garnet’s side, and if she closed her eyes, Pearl thought she might be able to forget everything just for a few moments. A few precious moments where there was nobody else in the world; no war behind or ahead, no endless missions, no bubbles or broken Gems. 

 

Garnet watched her, idly stroking her shoulder through the comforter. Pearl’s long fingers were curled around her wrist, but her grip was loose. The tension lines that etched across Pearl’s brow were smoother, less pronounced than they’d been even an hour ago, and despite herself, Garnet was glad that she could still have that effect on her companion. The rift between them still had a long way to go before it would truly mend, but even little steps, even this, spoke volumes for which future they could reach together.

 

“You fell asleep,” Garnet warned her, gently nudging the smaller woman awake. “Your Gem was glowing.”

 

Pearl’s hand flew to cover her Gem, jerking herself upright. Garnet let her, let the comforter fall away from her shoulders. The burns had faded considerably; weren’t ugly and purple against Pearl’s pale skin, having faded to a pale pink with a few dark splotches remaining. “I—forgive me,” she stammered, cheeks blazing. “I didn’t—“ 

 

The fusion shrugged, aware that the moment had been broken, but doubly aware that Pearl’s tendency to project her dreams through her Gem could have been much more uncomfortable in the long-run. What little she had seen was telling; a swirl of dragonflies and a parting curtain was more than enough to guess from. “Don’t worry. We should get those questions answered,” she said, reaching around for the discarded laptop. Pearl nodded, untangling herself from the rest of the blanket and neatly folding it. 

 

“Here we are,” Garnet said, deliberately scrolling past questions she was no more prepared to hear the answer for than Pearl likely was to answer them. “They want to know how we fused in the trap.”

 

“What?” Pearl turned, brows furrowed, to lean over Garnet’s shoulder, squinting at the screen. “How can they even know…?” 

 

 

“Who knows?” Garnet hummed, “Steven or Amethyst may have sent the question.”

 

The answer was as good as any, Pearl supposed, and she sighed. “I suppose it was an unorthodox situation… We couldn’t dance.” She paused to consider, frowning. The tangle of limbs in a rapidly shrinking box trap had been impossible to find any real form in. She remembered, distantly, crying into Garnet’s shoulder, rapidly running out of strength to push against the walls as they closed in, and Garnet’s hand in her hair. “Couldn’t move very much at all… It really was at the last second, wasn’t it?”

 

A small smile spread across Garnet’s lips, but with her visor in place, the rest of her expression remained hidden. “You don’t know?”

 

Embarrassed, Pearl ducked her head, wringing her hands in her lap. “I thought it just… happened,” she admitted, “There was no time, and our Gems activated… I didn’t question it.”

 

Garnet laughed, a low rumble that spilled out of her lips, and Pearl’s embarrassment was replaced, briefly, by wonder at how much she had missed that sound in the past few weeks alone. “You don’t have to dance to fuse,” Garnet explained, enjoying the surprise on her companion’s face. “We dance to get synchronized, in body and mind. It’s optional.”

 

“But I thought—“ Pearl started, stopping short as Garnet offered her palms, Gems up, for inspection. She fell silent, staring at the paired stones before looking back up at Garnet, who surely knew more about fusion than any Gem alive. It was a phenomenon so rarely documented on Homeworld that Pearl couldn’t have drawn from old knowledge even if she had wanted to; it had always been incredibly hush-hush. Garnet hadn’t been the only one in Rose’s Rebellion who could fuse, but her ability to sustain the state was unprecedented.  “How, then…?”

 

“We must have been of one mind,” Garnet said simply, “And our bodies followed suit.”

 

Looking back, Pearl could remember clearly the whirlwind of emotions that threatened to overcome her when Garnet had proposed fusing to escape. The very real fear that they would both be crushed, Gems and all, had been banished from her mind—she’d wanted to fuse, to ensure Garnet’s safe escape, to be able to reach Steven and Amethyst. More than that, she hadn’t wanted to die without making things right. Garnet wanted to trust her again, and nothing on Earth was worth losing the chance to have their friendship back, no matter how long it took. 

 

Had Garnet really felt the same?

 

Pearl didn’t dare ask outright, breath caught in her throat. “I-I see."


	4. Holding Position

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl reminisces about the war and her comrades in arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is about when the original characters start showing up in passing.

> _ Anonymous Asked: Pearl, did you and Garnet fight together in the war? Were there other Pearls? _

 

Pearl stared for a long while at the newest message, perplexed. Thus far, the questions had mainly been aimed at Garnet—and more than that, they hadn’t been about what functioned on Earth as ancient history. She shifted uncomfortably, glancing about the empty beach house as if the person behind the question would reveal themselves. But she was alone; Steven had taken Garnet somewhere shortly after returning early in the morning, and Amethyst was likely indulging herself in her room, with long-spoiled human food. 

 

“Rose’s Rebellion… I joined for Rose Quartz, to protect the Earth,” Pearl said slowly, looking pained. Telling Steven about his heritage was one thing; telling others, strangers, seemed blasphemous. She squeezed her hands together, fingers crossed neatly. “I was one of the only Pearls—there weren’t many of us. The others were less… Defective, I suppose. They couldn’t fight well, but I could. I _did_. Even after we lost them, I was there, at nearly every battlefield. And Rose always made sure to bring my Gem back. So I could fight again.”

 

Blinking rapidly against the sting in her eyes, she shook her head, trying to gather her thoughts, to find the words. 

 

“Once… only once, it was Garnet. We were outnumbered, outclassed… Rose was so far away. And Ruby and Sapphire, they—“ her breath hitched as she went on, “It wasn’t their first time fused. But it was the first time against General Moldavite's Specials. I don’t think I got a single hit in before they got me.

 

“I don’t know how she escaped. I was so badly hurt, I took hours to regenerate. Back then, there wasn’t time for that. Every minute mattered. I came back disoriented… I could barely see. She refused to let me leave the cave we were in. She had to hold me down to make me rest. Garnet told me never to risk my life like that, that she wouldn’t let me. I’d be broken for nothing.”

 

Through her tears, Pearl smiled, eyes a million miles away. Her Gem glowed, projecting an approximation of her memories onto the table, cast in pale blue, and she watched, but spoke for the players.

 

 

_ “I need to go! I’ve got to fight for Rose; she needs me!” Pearl struggled, but Garnet held her fast, one palm on each shoulder. That was all she needed; Pearl’s strength was a fraction of hers now. “Garnet, let go!” _

 

_ “You’re in no condition to fight!” There had been fear, raw uncertainty, in the fusion’s voice. “Rose Quartz will win without our help!” _

 

_ Pearl managed to worm her way out of her companion’s hold, rolling to the side to push herself up. Her elbows buckled, and she earned herself a mouth full of cave floor for her efforts. “You don’t know that!” she gasped, “Garnet you don’t know—“ _

 

_ “I do! I can see it,” Garnet shot back, pulling Pearl back by the arm. She had no strength to resist and came like a cloth doll, listless from the shoulders down, despite the fire in her eyes. “Pearl, Rose won’t die here. She won’t! But if you go out there, **you** will! They’ll kill you, Pearl.” Tears slipped past the edge of the visor she wore in battle; shaking hands clutched the smaller Gem’s shoulders. “Moldavite will mount you on her shield! Like Carnelian and Beryl, Howlite and the others. Every single outcome, every future—I can’t…” _

 

_ “Garnet…” _

 

_ Pearl reached for her visor, tugging it away to get a better look at Garnet’s face in the darkness. Garnet’s eyes met hers, overflowing with tears that streaked paths down the dust on her cheeks and nose. “You don’t need to throw yourself in danger to prove yourself,” the fusion went on, shifting her hold to cradle Pearl’s smaller body, and she all but melted into her shoulder. “I can’t—we can’t—keep losing everyone like this. You’re important. You are. Pearl, you need to protect yourself, too.” _

 

_ She could only nod at that, too humbled by her comrade’s words to counterpoint. General Moldovite had already made a name for herself through her monstrous treatment of soldiers and prisoners alike; there was no punishment more cruel than to keep another Gem’s stone in a trinket, and she wore countless shards as jewelry, dangling from her armor to inspire terror. They had known this; it was no secret. But somehow… _

 

_ “She took Carnelian too?” Pearl whispered, voice small. “I never would’ve...“ _

 

_ Garnet nodded grimly, swallowing hard. “And others. Dozens. Pearl, I can’t—I can’t keep it together,” she said, “I’ve never been fused this long—But you’ve got to promise me. Promise you won’t leave here without us. Citrine will bring Rose to find us. But I **need** you here when they get here. It’s…” her voice wavered, suddenly much too small, “It’s the only future I can see where we three make it back.” _

 

_ It took great effort to raise her hand a second time, but Pearl drew her fingers across Garnet’s cheek to wipe at her tears. “I’ll be here,” she murmured, “I won’t go anywhere. I promise. I’ll stay with you.” _

 

_ The room was engulfed in white hot light; Pearl fell back slightly against the smooth stone wall behind her and watched as the two smaller Gems reformed. Sapphire collapsed almost immediately, and though Pearl tried to reach for her, Ruby beat her to it, catching her—just barely—and easing her into a reclining position at Pearl’s side. Sapphire was breathing heavily, absolutely spent, and when Pearl reached to brush her bangs away from her eye her forehead was burning.  _

 

_ “The visions keep coming,” Ruby said hastily, voice choked with emotion. As Pearl’s eyes readjusted to the darkness, she could see tears streaming down Ruby’s cheeks. “They won’t stop! They’re awful, Pearl, Sapphire can’t stop them, I can’t distract her, being Garnet didn’t even slow it down—“ _

 

_ Sapphire stirred against Pearl, and the taller Gem folded an arm neatly around her shoulders, keeping her close. “She’s… resting now, though. She isn’t seeing anything now,” Pearl said hesitantly. Future sight was so uncommon; she knew so little about the ins and outs behind it. There was very little research to draw from. “That’s what we’ve got to do. All three of us. All we can do is wait.” _

 

_ Ruby clenched her fists, shaking from head to toe. “I’m not patient like you two!” she snapped, almost visibly sizzling from frustration. _

 

_ “I’m not patient,” Pearl whispered, shaking her head sadly. “I can’t even walk. You’re the only one of us who can even stand up, Ruby.” The smaller Gem wrinkled her nose, well aware that Pearl was right. And alone, she didn’t stand a chance—not that she would leave Sapphire. Especially not now. “I can’t protect anyone like this.” _

 

_ With a disgruntled huff, Ruby all but threw herself down beside Pearl, arms crossed, one foot kicking to pass the time. She sniffed, dried what little tears hadn’t evaporated, and sulked in silence. Pearl watched her for a long moment, absently running her thumb over Sapphire’s shoulder, and then let her eyes drift shut.  _

 

 

_ “Garnet said we make it back together.” _

 

_ “It’s just a possibility,” Ruby spat, eyes darting over to her other half, still unconscious. “Nothing’s certain, not even future vision.” _

 

_ “Then we’ll make it certain,” Pearl replied, voice heavy as exhaustion threatened to overtake her. She slipped an arm around Ruby’s midsection. “We have to believe in something. It’s the only way.” _

 

_ The red Gem said nothing, then turned to bury her face against Pearl’s chest, gripping her tunic in both hands. It wasn’t long before she dissolved into sobs, ragged and gut-wrenching, and Pearl could feel her tears soak through to her skin. She drew her knees up, leaning forward to bury a sigh in Ruby’s hair, and tried to wait her tears out, rubbing soothing circles against her side.  _

 

_ “They’re out there dying,” Ruby croaked out eventually, eyes downcast, looking at her gem in the palm of her hand. “So many—and I can’t help. I can’t. We can’t stay fused forever. And I’m not strong enough… I can’t save them. I can’t do anything.” _

 

_ Ruby’s words resonated more strongly in Pearl’s heart than anything she’d heard in weeks. Rose Quartz gave so many uplifting speeches—raised morale among her troops, kept everyone’s spirits up—that the fears she harbored deep inside had almost felt traitorous. Rose believed in every single Gem in her army, believed in this silly little blue planet. _

 

_ Pearl felt tears on her own cheeks again, and she sniffed piteously, scrubbing them away before settling her hand comfortably in the small of Sapphire’s back. “You saved me,” she whispered, earning a sharp glance. She tried to smile, but it was shaky, and she tugged Ruby closer. “That’s something. And we’ll make it back, and we’ll help the others next time.” She drew in a shaky breath, blinking against a fresh wave of tears. “I’ll fight, and I’ll protect you. You and Sapphire both. We’ll all make it.” _

 

_ As Ruby tried to mount an argument—Pearl couldn’t see the future, she couldn’t **know**!—she felt small fingers slip into her palm and whipped her head to the side, met with Sapphire’s half-lidded gaze. “Sapphire!” _

 

_ “Let’s all promise,” Sapphire whispered, squeezing her partner’s hand. “All three of us have to survive. After this battle, after the next,” the cyclops said firmly, “There’s at least one future… one where we’re together. After the war, us and Rose Quartz, we’ll all live on this planet together in peace. We must work toward this. All of us.”  _

 

_ Both smaller Gems turned toward Pearl, whose arms were still around them. She could only nod, throat constricted around a sob. They each reached around her, trapping her in the middle of their own embrace, and Pearl clung fast. _

 

_ “Let’s do it,” she whispered, “Let’s do it! We’ll make it together.” _

 

* * *

 

 

The projection flickered and faded, leaving Pearl sitting once again in the relative darkness of the living room. She stared forward, half-dried tears tingling against her cheeks. “After that… I looked for her often. We couldn’t stay together in battle, not always. But we fought at each other’s backs. I always made sure to find them—to let them know, if I did fall. Rose still had to bring my Gem back many times. I made sure Ruby and Sapphire knew when I regenerated, every time. So that we could look toward our future."


	5. Aji

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl answers a much harder question than she anticipated. Love is a very complicated concept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aji means 'taste', but as far as Go is concerned, it's about latent potential. According to Wikipedia, aji can be exploited or repaired at different points in the game, and leaves room for things to either go very well or very badly, and the direction isn't always clear.

 

> _Anonymous Asked: If you don't mind me asking, Pearl (cause it's kind of personal), what does it feel like knowing you've messed up? How bad does it feel? And does it compare to anything else in the past?_

 

 

The question wasn’t one Pearl was prepared for. 

 

Of course, that lack of preparation wasn’t for lack of having thought about it. Even with things relatively back to normal, guilt and self-loathing threatened to consume her at all times, especially when she was alone with her thoughts. Pearl’s memory was all too clear, too vivid at all the wrong times; she could name every particle documented on Earth, its Homeworld counterpart, and some combinations of atoms that humans ought to never discover. And yet there were great marks of human civilization, grand accomplishments she had been on Earth for, that completely escaped her notice. But every misstep was fresh in her mind as if it had been mere moments ago, from the disastrous aftermath of her impossibly stupid stunt repairing the Hub to every time she had ever stumbled while learning sword fighting from Rose Quartz before journeying to Earth to begin with. Failure was absolutely unacceptable on Homeworld, and Pearl—and the others like her—had essentially been hardwired to remember every mistake, big or small.

 

Talking about those feelings aloud, though, was an entirely different thing than wallowing in them in private. It was a perfectly fitted mask that allowed Pearl to smile and blithely sweep things under the rug for Steven’s sake, one where the beginnings of cracks were creeping in under the polished surface. But with the others out once again, this time on a mission that Garnet had specifically benched her from—the fusion had been kind enough to assure her that it had everything to do with the location and nature of the monster they were likely to face—there weren’t many tasks remaining at the temple to occupy herself with. Steven’s kitchen could only be so clean. 

 

For a long while, Pearl stared at the screen, then licked her too-dry lips. The polite tone of the inquiry did make it harder to ignore, though, and she had promised herself that she wouldn’t just go around deleting questions. No matter how uncomfortable the subject matter was.

 

 

“I’m not perfect,” she started slowly, eyes downcast. It hurt to admit aloud, even alone. “I don't think I can count the sheer number of mistakes I've made, not even since Rose... since Steven was born," she corrected herself, frowning so deeply that her cheeks hurt.

 

"I suppose regret must be the same for everyone. Even humans experience it. Their mistakes are so small, so _microcosmic_ compared to what we Gems are capable of. Intergalactic war is so grand--imagine battles spanning multiple galaxies, in different planetary systems, with skirmishes on other worlds, on terrain Earth's atmosphere can't even sustain! And I... primarily, I fought on Earth, with Rose Quartz. But there were calls I made that lost both soldiers and battles. But..." Pearl heaved a sigh, twisting her long fingers into a guilty knot in her lap. "I think it's... a completely different kind of mistake. Betraying a person you lov--"

 

Pearl caught herself at the last possible second, jaw snapping shut with the strength of a bear trap. _Love_ was a word she generally tried to reserve for Rose or Steven. Not that it didn't also apply to Garnet, or even Amethyst, trying though the purple Gem was. After thousands of years of companionship, it was hard not to love the both of them. It wasn't the same, of course; Rose was her _raison d'être_ , and Steven was her child in every sense that she thought was possible for a Gem to understand, but...

 

Then again, loving Garnet was a little different, too. But Ruby and Sapphire had long been dear to her heart. Even before the war, the pair's willingness to see beyond her societal ranking had left an impact that was only second to Rose's. That they had been the only other survivors of the war had intensified the feeling, the horrors Amethyst had been fortunate enough not to see for herself made her different--kept her at length, in a way. Garnet was different. Garnet was special.

 

Her throat was tight, and Pearl gulped for air, increasingly aware that she had been silent too long. But her mind swam with new questions that probed at feelings too raw to examine, about what she sought when she fused to become Sardonyx--and what fusing to become Rainbow Quartz had lacked by comparison. She scrunched her eyes shut, determined to finish answering. "Betraying someone you trust. It's different. You hurt with them, and for them. And you have no one to blame but yourself. I don't think it's fair to compare the two, it--it cheapens both. Objectively, loss of life is worse, _much_ worse, but I don't think… I can’t even begin to describe how it felt, how _she_ must’ve felt. And everything I did to make up for it made things worse." 

 

Sugilite's raw power at the Hub had burned the air; left Pearl's skin tingling with an electric buzz that lasted several hours after they had all returned to the temple. Garnet's stony silence, her refusal to so little as look at her for days after, had spoken volumes about her catastrophic mistake--even if her stupid, _defective_ mind had come to the wrong conclusion on how to fix it.

 

Pearl could feel tears in her eyes; a stinging that had become so familiar in recent weeks that it seemed strange to go a day without it. She pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes, fighting the urge to cry. "I'm not sure I'll be able to make this right. And that's worse. That's worse than knowing there's nothing you can do at all."

 


	6. Flashback: Endless Waltz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An interlude featuring Pearl's first time meeting Garnet! Featuring some debatably one-sided PearlxRose. Set during the war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An interlude featuring Pearl's first time meeting Garnet! Featuring some debatably one-sided PearlxRose. Set during the war. This was for the Pearlnetbomb over on Tumblr, but since it's part of the Unbroken Ties universe, I thought I'd post it in here as-is.

Fusion was an innovation bound to change the tide of the war.

 

They were doing remarkably well; rebels against an organized army that even Rose Quartz hadn’t known the Diamond Authority commanded. What they lacked in numbers and experience were overcome with gusto and unwavering belief in Rose’s noble cause. A colonized planet with the very beginnings of civilization sprouting against all odds, despite the dominant species being incredibly primitive, had no business being farmed into oblivion; the life and beauty that drew Gemkind to the small blue planet in the first place should be preserved.

 

Love was a commodity on Homeworld. Pearl #0267—Rose’s Pearl, but she couldn’t differentiate herself by that alone, certainly not around others—understood it, she reasoned. She loved Rose in a way that other Gems couldn’t understand, couldn’t even begin to fathom. Rose spoke to her in private in the way that she saw her two closest allies speak to one another; Ruby and Sapphire were in a different position, able to get away with holding hands and linking arms, sitting in a single chair (though their small statures surely had to do with that, too), sharing a bedroll during recovery after battle… but Rose would have done the same with her, Pearl knew, if only things were different. After the war, all pretenses would fall away, and they would be together.

 

But there were other Gems that must have experienced love. Rose Quartz described it as a bubbling feeling that came from the core of your being, no matter where your Gem was. It was a glow, a light like no other, with all the warmth that came from reforming after being in your Gem after dying. It was life, and laughter, and  _beautiful_ , and easily achieved by something as simple as eye contact with the right woman.

 

To raise morale, Rose Quartz staged parties; Gems didn’t need to eat, but some enjoyed drinking, and the Earth had abundant fruit to make drinks from. Chrysoprase would sing, while a few others joined in, and Jet and her companions had accumulated instruments both from Earth and some that had made the trip from Homeworld. They played music, and Rose encouraged inappropriate behavior all around—Gems would partner up, linking hands and arms, spinning and twirling and laughing, and Pearl felt an ugly chilly vice grip her chest whenever Rose spun someone else or joined in a line.

 

Similarly, watching Ruby and Sapphire twirl and laugh made her heart ache. Sometimes, they caught her staring; once or twice, they linked arms with her and spun until the three were dizzy. Rose rescued her only twice, but spun her even more, catching her Pearl in her arms in a rare show of public affection that made it worth it, no matter how embarrassing it was to have all eyes on her.

 

The attention didn’t last. One such party, after a miraculous victory with few lost lives, had been very abruptly interrupted by brilliant, scorching white light that exploded from where a pair of Gems known for their illicit relations were dancing. All attitudes changed instantly—the dancing stopped, and weapons were drawn. Ruby was in front of Sapphire so quickly, gauntlet ready, that the seer couldn’t react. Similarly, Pearl stood between Rose and the forming threat, sword at the ready.

 

But as the light faded, leaving instead the faint silhouette of a truly massive Gem with wild, green-tinted brown hair and four arms, with crimson skin and blackened eyes.

 

Rose Quartz commanded all weapons down, and there was no soldier present who wouldn’t listen. The giant red woman stumbled on legs that had never been so long, lading hard and destroying a long white oak table that had survived several Gems dancing on it earlier. Rose leapt across the room, over her stunned supporters, to land gracefully, clasping her hands to her bosom in her excitement.

 

“How wonderful!” the general exclaimed, bending to clasp two of the other Gem’s hands, tugging her into a sitting position. “You fused! I’ve never seen it, but you surely did it! How do you feel? What shall we call you?”

 

She spoke in two voices that shook with uncertainty; Copal’s and Kunzite’s, but with a deeper, richer undertone that grew dominant as Rose talked her through her panic and away from apologies about the table. Their tones were hushed, soon enough, and Pearl strained to hear from farther away than she’d have liked.

 

It wasn’t long before Rose Quartz stood beside the other Gem, practically glowing with pride, to introduce her to comrades that already knew the Gems that made her up:

 

The first fusion in Rose’s Army; Spinel.

 

* * *

 

Pearl couldn’t do it.

 

In the coming weeks, Rose Quartz worked with Spinel to try to encourage other Gems to fuse as well. Spinel was inarticulate, but had inherited Copal’s artistic abilities, and drew out diagrams and steps, conspired with Rose at odd hours trying to figure out how and why her fusion had worked—and more than that, why it had stuck. Several others’ attempts had lasted for mere hours, sometimes only minutes.

 

And Pearl could fuse with no one; because she knew without asking that it wasn’t her place to ask Rose to fuse.

 

Rose Quartz described it as the ultimate act of intimacy, and worked out with Spinel, then passed it on to the others. The key to fusion was the dance itself, but similarly, the Gems involved needed to be completely in synch to maintain it. Kunzite and Copal were so close that they could finish each other’s sentences normally, so it was hardly a stretch to imagine that they were able to stay fused.

 

Few other Gems had that.

 

Ruby and Sapphire tried, but Sapphire would often lose herself giggling at the way Ruby looked at her, at the inappropriate waggle of eyebrows that promised that she was taking something entirely different seriously, at warm fingers that danced up her sides. Ruby did it deliberately, but Rose didn’t chide either of them.

 

“But they aren’t taking it  _seriously_ ,” Pearl protested in private, far more comfortable speaking her mind traveling into the depths of the temple they were hiding in than in the banquet hall. “You said yourself, if we could encourage fusion, we might have a better chance when Homeworld returns! Shouldn’t they—“

 

Rose’s eyes twinkled at her in the way that brought warmth into the center of her torso, and that warmth spread outward, tingeing her pale cheeks a brilliant teal that always made her commander giggle. “You worry too much, my Pearl,” the bigger Gem said, smoothing shoulder-length strawberry blonde hair back behind Pearl’s ear. “Our friends will sort it out. I believe in them, don’t you?” She paused, watched the way Pearl leaned her cheek into her hand, and smiled softly. “You should be out there too. I never get to see you dance with anyone. And you’re a lovely dancer, Pearl, you should be showing it off!”

 

Pearl didn’t want to dance with anyone else, she thought sullenly, but the praise brought an explosion of butterflies to life inside her. “Can’t I just dance—“  _with you_  lodged itself in her throat, but Pearl couldn’t bring herself to say it. She bit her lip, eyes cast downward. That kind of request was out of line for someone of her standing. A knight had no business asking her liege for such a thing. “ _For_ you? In private?” It wasn’t a very good save, and Pearl knew that Rose Quartz was too brilliant and intuitive to misunderstand.

 

Still, Rose never turned her away; never said ‘no’ outright, and there were nights where ‘yes’ didn’t need saying. But tonight Rose giggled, leaned in low to press warm lips just to the left of Pearl’s Gem, and gently turned her about so that she was facing the way they had come. “Give it a try,” Rose’s voice was soft and firm and Pearl registered the command as such even if her leader hadn’t meant it as such. “Please, go have fun, Pearl. For me.”

 

The subtle rejection took the wind from Pearl’s sails, but she nodded obediently, turning to catch Rose’s palm with her lips as she withdrew her hand. “I will.”

 

 

* * *

 

As usual, the party seemed to be getting on well whether Pearl—or Rose Quartz—were present. Her arrival went unnoticed, and she slipped away from her usual position near the front of the hall immediately, in favor of finding a quiet corner to observe from.

 

Rose Quartz was everything to her, but in her greatness, she couldn’t possibly see how insignificant and small Pearl was. The Gem wrapped her arms around her midsection instinctively, half-watching, half-lost in thought. Pearls as a class on Homeworld weren’t important, and she was no exception. Most other Gems, even within Rose’s Army, acknowledged her as Rose’s subordinate in the same way that they might back home. On her own, her pale coloration and small frame made her easy to miss—helpful in battle, with a sword, but altogether useless for socializing.

 

Ruby and Sapphire noticed, though. The thought of her friends—both older than she by a few millennia each—drew Pearl out of her revere enough to look up, to see if she could catch a glimpse of the small red or blue Gems in the crowd. Many had left for their barracks; dancing was only so much fun once the drink was gone, and whoever had taken the stage was an average songstress at best. She didn’t see them.

 

Fusions were fast becoming commonplace, however short-lived many were. Pearl wondered whether Rose Quartz would praise her if she could identify them, but it would have to wait for another soirée. She watched white light flicker across the dance floor as some Gems tried and failed, then heaved a sigh, closing her eyes. It was for the best that she didn’t try, she reasoned. Even if Rose were willing, Pearl was defective—always had been—and it would look terrible if Rose Quartz  _herself_  couldn’t fuse, even if it was her partner’s fault.

 

A shadow fell over her, and Pearl jerked her head up, icy blue eyes snapping open—and she found herself face-to-face with a Gem she’d never encountered before, with wildly curly dark hair, and skin just barely more brown than red. A wide grin was all that she could see of her expression, though; the mystery Gem had a visor covering half of her face, with a few tousled curls spilling over the upper edge, and Pearl could see her own reflection there, small and thin and completely dwarfed by what must have been a new fusion.

 

“Do you need something?” Pearl asked warily, feeling her insides contort in a nervous knot. That much must have been obvious; no one approached other Gems without reason, and having her back against the wall left Pearl with no room to escape.

 

“I think you do,” the bigger woman said smoothly, and Pearl felt her cheeks heat with embarrassment at the richness in her voice.

 

Still, she tried to steel herself, pursing thin lips into a frown. “Then I think you’re mistaken,” she quipped, earning a hearty laugh. This time, her flush came from frustration. “Pardon you! You are being completely inappropriate!”

 

She earned a shrug rather than an apology, and a gloved hand palm-up—covering a round Gem, Pearl realized, but there were several members of Rose’s Army who had their Gem there—along with an invitation: “Dance with me.”

 

There was no question in the invite, but Pearl knew she was under no obligation to agree. Still, curiosity nagged at the back of her mind, wonder at who this new fusion was and, more than that, the memory of Rose’s command earlier all conspired together in such a way that she laid her hand uncertainly in the bigger Gem’s palm.

 

Stronger fingers immediately clasped hers, and she found herself dragged to the dance floor, spun in a neat circle so that she found her shoulders pressed briefly against the other woman’s breastplate. Instinct took over, and Pearl twirled in response, catching her partner’s offered hand, and she found the fusion’s opposite hand had taken residence in the small of her back.

 

The fusion led, and Pearl felt that—inappropriate though it was, coming from a stranger—nothing could have made her happier. She loved to dance, but more than that, she enjoyed being second, to be the one being twirled and spun.

 

A waltz wasn’t right for the music, but Pearl fell so neatly into step with the fusion that she couldn’t really hear the beat anymore. Her partner was quiet, but grinned, and their hands fit together wonderfully, and Pearl knew instinctively when to withdraw for a spin, arm rigid and high over her head even though the other Gem could easily keep her own arm out of the way of her spin. Even on tiptoe, she was dwarfed, and it felt wonderful.

 

Pearl didn’t know when she started smiling back, or when she stopped worrying about whose hand guided her, or where her other Gem was—who the mysterious fusion before her was, and why she’d taken notice to the wallflower when she blended so well against the pillars. But she spun closer, found herself flush in the stranger’s arms, and when she wrapped hers around her shoulders she was rewarded with a dark blush that crept beyond the mirrored visor. The butterflies must have been contagious, and Pearl was thankful for that. For just a moment, for just long enough, she felt powerful—powerful enough to grip her companion’s hand and twirl  _her_ , and she earned strong hands at her waist and a lift high in the air for her efforts.

 

Their laughter mingled, and Pearl didn’t notice for even a moment that much of the remaining dancers were staring at them.

 

“Who are you?” Pearl asked at length, much later into the night, long having forgotten how many songs had passed. They were swaying almost lazily now, to a song played on lute and harp, while Larimar sang a duet with Thulite learned from the humans who had traded them the instruments.

 

“Garnet,” the other woman said quickly, lips close to Pearl’s ear, “And I’m not sure you want to know the answer to your next question just yet.”

 

Pearl frowned, peeking up from where her cheek was resting against the darker Gem’s broad shoulder. “How do you know what I’ll—“

 

And then it hit her.

 

A faceted Gem in one hand, a glove covering the other, with interest in a nobody like her, and the ability to see what she’d say next?

 

And how many hours had it been since she’d seen her friends at this party?

 

Pearl’s eyes went too wide, and Garnet’s grin turned nervous, and she stepped away neatly, out of range in case her friend took a swing. Pearl’s hands were shaking at her sides.

 

“ _Ruby and Sapphire_?!”

 

Her shrill shout echoed in the hall, and then—finally—all eyes turned on them, and Garnet looked briefly uncertain. Then, she bowed lightly. “Guilty,” she said, and with a resounding  _pop!_  Ruby and her partner were standing in her place, Sapphire behind with her arms around Ruby’s broader waist.

 

“We wanted to surprise you,” Ruby explained hastily, seeing Pearl’s face rapidly darkening a vivid turquoise. “Since it meant so much to you.”

 

“We’ve been practicing,” Sapphire went on, reaching a gloved hand to extract Pearl’s fingers from their tight ball, coaxing her forward. The younger Gem looked uncertain, and Ruby’s hand found hers as well, and Pearl joined her two friends. “And we wanted you to be the first to meet her.”

 

Pearl wasn’t sure what to say, and neither did she think that she could articulate it around the choked ball in her throat. But she leaned down and hugged the both of them tightly, earning the same in return.

 

Sapphire glanced sidelong at Ruby, worrying her bottom lip just barely between her teeth. “I hope we made a good first impression.”

 

The grin on Ruby’s face, and the way Pearl’s bony arms tightened even more around their midsections, answered without a doubt that they had.


	7. Fumble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Immediately follows Aji. Pearl gets another ask, Garnet dislikes her answer, and the Crying Breakfast Friends collectible tissue box makes an appearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No real notes this time. Skipped an interlude answer featuring Amethyst because it was super short. Sorry about that!

 

>  
> 
> _Anonymous Asked: I know you're trying to earn back Garnet's trust, Pearl, but you're taking care of yourself too, right?_

 

  
The question arrived so quickly that Pearl hadn’t had the chance to compose herself after her last answer. How could any stranger be so interested that they would ask anything  _minutes_ after she posted a video?  
  
Pearl dabbed at the wetness on her cheeks before checking the question, only to be so taken aback by the mystery person’s apparent concern that she felt her tears renew like a wave filling the tide pools on the Eastern side of the beach. She blinked rapidly, trying to process it—more than that, trying to process the familiarity.  
  
It sounded like the kind of thing Rose would ask.  
  
But of course, Rose was gone. Forever.  
  
All the tears in the world couldn’t change that.  
  
Drawing in a shuddering breath, Pearl scrubbed at her tears vigorously, then slapped her palms against her cheeks to snap herself out of it. Teal-cheeked and glossy-eyed, she forced a watery smile. “That’s a... a kind question,” she said haltingly, slipping back into an easy, detached voice. Her eyes were a million miles away, as if she couldn’t see the screen, but her sharp memory held the question in clear focus. “But absolutely unnecessary. We Gems don’t need the kinds of things you humans do, so if you mean eating or sleeping... well, Amethyst may indulge in those things, but I don’t need to. I’m much more interested in making things right. I went about it the wrong way before, but I’ll get stronger, as much as I can, and someday...” she faltered, eyes darting downward, then to the side. “Hopefully Garnet will forgive me. When  _she’s_  ready. But I’m not a priority right now.”  
  
“I disagree.”  
  
Pure Gems could leap higher than most buildings—Pearl included—and it was too easy to underestimate how much strength one put into most actions. Still, Pearl was so startled by Garnet’s unmistakable voice that she let out an inhuman noise of surprise and jolted into the air, landing awkwardly on the couch in a position altogether unlike the one she’d been sitting in initially. “Garnet?! When did you—I never heard the warp!”  
  
“That’s not important,” Garnet admonished her, taking long, purposeful strides toward her teammate. What Pearl didn’t need to know was that she had never left—mostly at Amethyst’s insistence. She and Steven could handle the task at hand. Pearl cringed, gripping her fists so tightly that her fingernails cut into the palms of her hands. Garnet shifted her weight onto one leg, arms akimbo, and frowned down at her. Pearl was quaking where she sat. Garnet sighed, “Move so I can sit too, Pearl.”

 

  
She did without question, almost instinctively backing herself into the corner of the L-shaped couch, and when Garnet sank down next to her, close enough for Pearl to feel the other Gem’s body heat, Pearl bit her lip hard enough to bruise.  
  
“You already know  _you’re_  important,” Garnet’s voice was a low growl, and Pearl couldn’t begin to guess what expression her visor concealed. “Your wellbeing is always a priority. You won’t get stronger by pushing yourself until you break.”  
  
Pearl chewed the inside of her cheek, then tried valiantly to push the tension out of her body as she exhaled. “I’m aware,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean it like...”  
  
“Like you’re less important than the rest of us?” Garnet cut in, and Pearl nodded miserably. The fusion could feel both Ruby and Sapphire’s anger at that; hot and cold in her hands, and her frown deepened. “You’re not. We’re a team. We’re  _equals_.”  
  
‘Equals’ was something still foreign and confusing to Pearl, especially coming from their de facto leader. The Gem closed her eyes, waited for more, and when nothing was forthcoming, she dared to speak, but her voice was small. “You’re more important.”  
  
“I’m not!” Garnet snapped back, tugging Pearl by the shoulder to force her to turn, leaning into her face. “We just talked about this, you’re important too—“  
  
“Not to me!” Pearl exclaimed; startled by how close Garnet’s face had gotten to hers. She realized belatedly that she was all but flat against the wall, with inches—if that—between Garnet’s nose and hers. Her cheeks flushed, and she knew by Garnet’s silence that her explanation had better be quick. Tongue-tied, as she so often found herself in her best friend’s presence of late, she shook her head, praying against all odds that she could garner her thoughts. “I... You are. You’re more important. All of you. But Garnet, you especially, after all you’ve done—“  
  
The bigger Gem frowned. “Because I’m in Rose’s place?”  
  
All color drained from Pearl’s face, and she looked positively horrified—and for the briefest of moments, Garnet was afraid that she was right. But that chilled expression turned heated, and for the first time in millennia, Pearl pushed her away. “How can you think that?” she asked, fresh tears prickling at the corners of her eyes. “How—No! Of  _course_  not! You aren’t—Do you think I can’t tell you from her? After everything Rose and I were? How  _dare_  you?!”  
  
It was Garnet’s turn to shrink back, and even the safety of her visor couldn’t hide her expression. She did know better. But it was a constant fear, one that nagged at the back of her mind on every mission, sometimes in her own voice, but often in Sapphire’s or Ruby’s.  
  
_What would Rose Quartz do_?  
  
Fortunately for her, Pearl’s anger wasn’t like Garnet’s; she deflated quickly, hot tears pouring down her cheeks, and Garnet knew not to reach for her yet even as she sobbed raggedly, shoulders hitching violently enough that the cushions behind her moved as well. Pushing her desire to offer some kind of comfort down, Garnet sat frozen, uneasy but aware that the apology she owed would be lost on Pearl now, and after a long while she awkwardly offered a box of tissues.

 

  
It hung between them for almost too long, but finally, once her breathing was more regular, Pearl reached out and shakily pushed the box away. She couldn’t make eye contact, but was already mid-lunge into Garnet’s arms as they opened up for her. Pearl’s arms clung almost too tightly around Garnet’s slim waist, and the bigger Gem was careful not to crush her torso with her superior strength, knowing full well that Pearl wouldn’t care. Even that closeness wasn’t enough, though, and Garnet leaned back, pulling her companion with her. Pearl curled into her, one leg hooked around Garnet’s. The fusion looked down at her, at the way Pearl tried to make herself small enough to disappear.  
  
“Sorry,” Garnet said into Pearl’s hair, voice soft. Pearl made a muffled questioning noise, and her teammate sighed. “Sorry. From all of me. I knew not to ask that.”  
  
“Then why...?” Pearl whispered miserably, looking up from the growing damp spot she’d left on Garnet’s collar. Garnet said nothing for long enough that Pearl managed to dry her tears, staring up at her searchingly.  
  
After a moment, Garnet sighed, pulling her visor away, knowing that Pearl preferred to see her eyes. It was uncomfortable, but somewhat endearing all the same. Her visor had been practical during wartime and during missions, but wearing it around the clock was for the sake of fitting in among humans—and Steven’s comfort, most recently. But Pearl was different; millennia ago, she had complimented her third eye, admired its color, and that had stuck with her.

 

  
It was strange, all the same, knowing that Pearl could see that weakness in her eyes, the red tinge from trying not to cry earlier, and even stranger when Pearl reached up to brush cold knuckles against her cheekbone. “Garnet,  _why_?”  
  
“I know you compare us sometimes,” Garnet said softly, looking away. Pearl’s hand stayed her face so that she couldn’t turn, not completely. “On missions. It’s easy to see you’d prefer...”  
  
“I wouldn’t change you,” Pearl cut in, voice still a little rough from crying. “That is... Garnet, you’re you. I’m not  _used_  to the way you lead, it doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate it. I don’t expect you to be her.” The raw look of surprise on Garnet’s normally stony face almost made her falter, but it seemed that much more important to continue. “I miss Rose. More than anything. But I...” She paused, worrying her lip, and then pushed her face more firmly into Garnet’s collar. “You’re Garnet. I would never want you to be anything but you. You’re my best friend.”


	8. Overlap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An askless interlude. Pearl and Garnet clear up a few more things. Fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been stuck for a bit, so I'm sorry for the delay here. Set immediately following Fumble.

 

They lay together for much longer than was necessary. Pearl chanced a look up too soon to see Garnet’s eyes closed against tears of her own, and instead of asking, she tucked her face into the other Gem’s shoulder and curled closer. Garnet’s wide hands spanned her back and shoulders easily, and her arms folded comfortably around her body, completely encompassing her. Pearl was lanky, slim, like a willow branch, but her warmth was as comforting as her words.

_ You’re my best friend. _

For long moments, they did not speak, or move more than to settle more closely. Garnet’s breath came evenly, as it almost always did, and listening to her breathing lulled Pearl into a light doze.

“You’re mine, too,” Garnet said eventually, earning a somewhat startled look from the smaller Gem. “My best friend.”

Pearl’s eyes were wide as saucers, pushing herself up to begin detangling herself from the fusion’s embrace. “Even after—“

“Obviously,” Garnet cut her off, laying a hand on her knee. “Betrayal hurts more from someone important. Someone you love, like you said.”

Coming from Garnet, who sounded so sure, so unashamed, the words brought a near-neon flush to Pearl’s cheeks. She sat up, hiding her face in her hands when wishing the blush away did nothing. The fusion laughed, and Pearl peeked out between her fingers to see her friend smiling up at her, eyes crinkled at the corners in her amusement, and Pearl could feel her cheeks heating all over again. “But I hurt you,” she protested, and Garnet shook her head.

“You don’t stop loving someone in an instant. Not over something you can work out,” Garnet said, reflexively glancing between her hands. Pearl reached down hesitantly, brushed her fingertips coaxingly along the edge of Garnet’s hands to turn them upward, and then carefully laid her hands over her Gems.

 

“Okay,” Pearl said, visibly relieved when Garnet’s fingers wrapped around hers, “I won’t let myself think otherwise anymore. We’ll work it out. And…” she paused, allowing herself a smile. “Thank you. For everything, Garnet.”

Garnet quirked a brow, grinning lopsidedly. “You know it’s not just me,” she teased, and Pearl gripped her hands nervously, but Garnet continued. “Though they’re not sure how to feel that you like me best.”

Pearl’s cheeks heated, but Garnet’s easy smile, the warmth in both her Gems kept her from panicking, and she managed a sheepish quirk of her lips. “Well, ‘best friend’ is singular,” she said, “I can only pick one person. Ruby and Sapphire are a pair, and I’m not breaking them up, so choosing only one would be cheating.”

“And it’s not cheating that I’m a fusion.” Garnet didn’t ask, not quite—but there was a rare softness to her voice, a catch, and Pearl could see the slightest hint of uncertainty in her eyes.

“You’re you,” Pearl said slowly, “I… see them in you. Their influence. Ruby’s passion and Sapphire’s laughter. But you’re Garnet. I’ve never been unclear on that. You’re your own Gem, too.”

 


	9. Interlude - By the Sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven and Amethyst discuss what's happening at home after defeating a fairly personal Gem monster.

 

 

Waiting by the warp pad was excruciatingly boring.

 

Steven didn’t regret the idea, exactly. There was shade, and his backpack held cool drinks and some snacks. He and Amethyst had been able to fight the Gem monster together relatively easily; they had been training together of late, and while Amethyst couldn’t always get past Steven’s shield and bubble combo, the giant clam… thing had only been able to defend with its shell, despite its many suction cup-tipped feet. The boy hadn’t understood until after they’d retrieved the Gem inside _why_ Garnet had wanted Pearl to stay home for this mission—or for that matter, why she had ultimately stayed behind too.

 

The Gem they had retrieved was a pearl.

 

He didn’t have the heart to send it back to the temple immediately, which was as good an excuse as any not to warp home. Amethyst had taken his phone, intent on mashing refresh on their teammates’ blog whenever she could angle herself to catch more than one bar of service.

 

It wasn’t the waiting he regretted; it was the knowledge that there was nowhere to warp but home, and no way to do so without interrupting whatever Pearl and Garnet were up to.

 

“Do you think they’re talking it out?” Steven asked at length, staring at the dark gray pearl inside his pink bubble, wondering distantly whether the other pearls were all different colors, too, or if the corruption from being a monster had changed this one.

 

Amethyst huffed a sigh. “Probably not,” she grumbled, shaking the phone in her frustration. “P posted a video, but I don’t see Garnet in— _oooh_ ,” she cut herself off, pressing her nose to the screen. “Y’know, they might...”

 

“Well, good!” Steven smiled, relieved. He puffed out his chest, arms akimbo. “I knew it was a good idea to make a blog! Ronaldo really likes his, and they need to talk more! Plus, we can watch and find out too! Everybody wins.”

 

“If by ‘wins’ y’mean P’s crying _again_ ,” Amethyst sighed, rolling her eyes, but she kept her attention on the video all the same. The volume was turned down; right now, Amethyst wasn’t sure she could take more of hearing Pearl being genuinely upset, not after the past few rocky weeks. Still, she could get an idea of what was happening without sound. “Their blog’s as bad as that cartoon, Steven. I’ve never seen anyone blubber this much.”

 

A frown crossed Steven’s face, and he craned his neck forward to get a glimpse of the screen, but it was dimmed and hard to make out. A vaguely Garnet-shaped dark figure made it on camera, and he sighed. “Garnet didn’t want to stop doing it when I asked, but I didn’t get to ask Pearl,” he admitted, “But I guess if she’s answering things on her own…”

 

“Woah, woah,” Amethyst interjected, leaning over to show Steven the phone, tilting it toward him so he could see a little better. “Are they _fighting_?”

 

From the looks of things, Steven didn’t think there was an alternative. At least it was vocal. Both watched in stunned silence as Pearl shoved Garnet, and Steven let out a breath of stale air he hadn’t realized he was holding when it didn’t escalate.

 

“I… guess they must’ve made up, if they uploaded the video,” Steven offered hopefully, and Amethyst dutifully agreed, frowning deeply as the clip stretched on with Pearl crying on the couch while Garnet simply waited her out. She understood; Pearl was unreachable when she was in full on hysterics, but it hurt to see, and she recognized the way she folded in on herself. Those were tears for Rose Quartz.

 

“Let’s wait a little before we head back,” Amethyst suggested, finally putting the phone aside. “I don’t want to deal with this any more than I think they do.”

 

Steven said nothing, staring long and hard at the perfectly spherical gunmetal blue pearl in his pink bubble. He tilted it, watched the Gem inside roll in the air, and sighed heavily. “Amethyst, did you know this one?” he asked, earning a raised eyebrow that barely stopped at the Gem’s hairline.

 

“Why would I?” Amethyst asked, “I just know they used to be like us, I didn’t meet them. They’re all from the war.”

 

The boy’s frown deepened. “But Pearl would’ve known her?”

 

 

It was Amethyst’s turn to be silent. She knew the answer; Pearl knew Rose’s ranks by name and type, could identify half of the weapons in the Strawberry Fields by their former owner, and only two thirds of those were from their side. Pearl’s picture perfect memory was the bane of her existence as a young Gem, with story after story of glory days she didn’t care a bit about. But now, with the aid of this silly blog they ran, Amethyst was beginning to piece together a very different picture than the one Pearl had always tried to show her—and she hoped Steven wasn’t seeing what she was, no matter how smart the kid was.

 

“Pearl knew everybody,” Amethyst sighed, “No exceptions. I don’t know anything about that stuff, but I’m sure Garnet does. That’s why they both stayed.” She paused, “We shouldn’t tell P. That it was another Pearl. We should stick it in the Temple and _never_ , ever bring it up again. If Garnet wants to take that hit, it’s all hers.”

 

Steven looked taken aback, and he shifted his gaze toward the bubbled Gem floating above his palm. Secrets between them hadn’t ended well in the past, and he didn’t think he could lie if Pearl asked directly. “What about the other Gems in the reef?” he asked, knowing full well that he was too tired go for another round after fighting the monstrous clam beast. They had won—but barely—and while any victory counted, it felt hollow when he imagined a dark-haired twin to one of his surrogate mothers losing herself to corruption that turned Gems into beasts.

 

Sizing Steven up didn’t take more than a moment to see that he wasn’t up for a second round, and Amethyst shook her head. “Let Garnet finish up for us,” she said, clapping the boy on the back so hard that he nearly dropped the bubble. “It’s in a… cove, right? They’re contained or whatever. The important thing was getting the giant clam first.”

 

The boy nodded distantly, then finally, with a sigh, sent the bubbled Gem back to the Temple, flourish and all. “We’d better go home then,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck, “I need a bath, and if they’re done fighting, Garnet and Pearl probably need a distraction after all that… being upset.” He didn’t know what to call the tension between them. There were times when he felt it on the air, the way that _magic_ felt, like Sardonyx had used in her showing off, and that seemed like it must have been a good thing—and other times, the tension turned cold, like Ruby and Sapphire’s fight at the motel. He sighed, looking down at his empty hands. There wasn’t anything he could do, no matter how much he wanted to help. “Amethyst, can you do me a favor?”

 

“I can do lots of favors,” Amethyst retorted, raising an eyebrow at the seriousness in his voice. “What’s up, Ste-van?”

 

“Can you… check on them? For me? I don’t think they’ll tell me what happened.”

 

That was not a favor Amethyst wanted to do. She matched his frown. “Just watch the video, like I’m gonna do.”

 

“No, I mean—“ Steven started, then shook his head. “They won’t tell me the same story they’ll tell you. You know that. I just… worry. A lot.”

 

“Too much,” Amethyst corrected him, plopping down at his side to nudge his shoulder roughly. “You’re turning into Pearl. You’ll get the nose and everything.”

 

Despite himself, Steven laughed at that. “Please Amethyst? Just talk to them about it?”

 

There was no denying her own curiosity. Pearl and Garnet’s relationship was complicated and annoying, but at the same time, she couldn’t help wondering about it. It wasn’t straightforward, despite both older Gems’ tendencies to be blunt. It was at least as much a mess as Greg’s life. After a long while, finally, _grudgingly_ , Amethyst agreed. “Yeah, okay,” she said, “I’ll talk them up. _After_ we get some fry bits. This mission wiped me out!”


	10. Mid-Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garnet and Pearl finally get back to answering questions, and indulge in some long-overdue private affection.

> _Anonymous Asked: Garnet, which is the fondest memory you have about Pearl?_

 

At some point, Pearl had tried to remove herself from her perch straddling Garnet’s leg, with a stream of awkward apologies and some pitiful attempt at an excuse about dishes in the sink. Garnet had let her rise so that she herself could sit up again, let her babble without dignity, and then pulled her back down on the couch at her side. She spoke in hushed tones, knowing the camera yet rolled, and Pearl didn’t give much in the way of argument against staying put a little longer; Steven and Amethyst would return and she could busy herself with dishes then.

 

Garnet’s arms folded neatly around her narrow midsection, and it was Pearl’s task to cut the film and upload what they had already recorded. The pair considered editing it, but Garnet admitted that her computer knowledge would probably end in erasing the entire thing, and Pearl didn’t feel quite up to re-watching their argument. 

 

“We really should answer things people ask,” Garnet said eventually, “They seem to be piling up.” 

 

 

Pearl frowned, however slightly. “They’re piling up, but I don’t know what to _say_ … Garnet, so many are for you,” she said lamely, “I can’t imagine why humans would want to hear anything from me.”

 

“Are you being disparaging already?”

 

She flushed, and shook her head. “No, I mean—I don’t exactly have advice, or a good rapport with them,” she insisted, “I don’t understand their relationships, or their culture, and I don’t…”

 

“You don’t like them,” Garnet offered, and the stricken, guilty look on Pearl’s face confirmed her suspicions. The fusion sighed, stroking Pearl’s strawberry blonde hair absently. Decades ago, she had worn it longer, and Garnet would play with it—it was relaxing for the both of them, something Sapphire and Ruby had indulged in together, and something that the remaining Crystal Gems had done for centuries after the war. “But you like Connie.”

 

“Connie is wonderful,” Pearl admitted, “But she’s a _child_ , Garnet. On the whole, humans are just, just so…”

 

Garnet’s eyebrow arched, above her crimson eye, and she quirked a grin. “Greg isn’t a child,” she said, “And you finally got past hating him.”

 

Pearl pursed her lips, folding her arms. “That’s not the point. Greg is a strange human. And we can’t very well ignore him, he’s Steven’s father.”

 

“But you’re friends,” Garnet pressed forward insistently, “You’ve got at least one grown human friend. And he can help you understand human things.”

 

“I don’t need human friends,” Pearl said, looking away. “I don’t want them. They’re so short-lived, Garnet. Just _decades_. That’s their entire lifespan. We Gems have millennia.”

 

And yet, there were only the three of them left. It didn’t need saying, but the hollow look in Pearl’s eyes said it. It spoke volumes of the few times she had grown attached over the centuries, of the short lives she’d touched, usually at Rose’s insistence. Garnet understood, on some level; sometimes, rarely, she had reached out to the humans as well. Usually with Amethyst’s help, but she had all but never allowed herself to get attached. 

 

Garnet sighed loudly. “Let me braid your hair?” she asked abruptly, earning a startled look from Pearl. It was a request she hadn’t heard in more years than she cared to count. 

 

“Now?” the smaller Gem asked, startled, and when Garnet nodded, Pearl tipped her head back. Her Gem shone brightly, for only a moment, and a cascade of wavy strawberry hair spilled down her back, the ends barely dusting the couch where she sat.  

 

 

Garnet settled in, combing long fingers through her hair. “You should pick a question,” she said, catching the faintest snag in her fingers mid-way down Pearl’s back. “Even if it’s one directed at me. I’ll answer, and then I’ll pick one for you. That’s fair, isn’t it?”

 

It would have been a lot _more_ fair if Pearl were less distracted by dexterous fingers tugging at silken strands. She reached for the computer, shifting it to angle the camera and resuming recording. “How about… This one?” she asked, feeling heat in her cheeks. “Someone asked what your fondest memory is of me.”

 

“Now who’s being unfair?” Garnet chuckled, glad that Pearl couldn’t see her cheeks darken with her back turned. “I would have to say… During the war. When you fought with Nephrite for my honor.”

 

“Fond?” Pearl felt her cheeks flush, “I had to go to the infirmary for two days, you had a black eye, and Rose punished _all_ of us for starting fights!”

 

“And Nephrite never said a word against mixed fusion again.” Garnet continued her work, separating Pearl’s hair into three equal parts. “You defended us against a bigger, higher-ranked member of our own. Even though you still clung to Homeworld’s values. I’ve never forgotten.”

 

Somehow, Pearl had never considered that could impress Garnet. She waited for a pause in her companion’s plaiting to turn her head, glancing over her shoulder at the other Gem. “I couldn’t stand hearing her speak badly of you. Or Spinel, or the others… But especially you. I had no idea you were standing there, I just couldn’t stand Nephrite saying something cruel about you. Any of you. Ruby and Sapphire, too. I just saw _red_.”

 

 

Garnet grinned back at her, willing away the beginnings of tears in all but one eye. “It meant a lot, how you told her off,” she said, returning to her task. Pearl’s hair slid effortlessly between her fingers, lingered over her Gems, and she could feel both Ruby and Sapphire’s pleasure at the memory. 

 

Pearl’s cheeks blazed blue, and she had to look away. She swallowed hard, but couldn’t find her voice for minutes afterwards. Garnet finished one braid, then moved to the next lock of long hair, intent to plait that as well. “Your turn,” Pearl whispered finally, “You pick one for me.”

 


	11. Old Habits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Garnet's turn to pick a question for Pearl, but the answer isn't what she expected.

 

> _ Anonymous asked:  Question for Pearl. When did you start falling for Garnet (or become aware of those feelings) and what was that like? _

 

 

Given the opportunity, Garnet wasn’t entirely sure which question to pick. Sure enough, of the questions directed at either of them specifically, most were aimed at her—and Pearl’s weren’t of interest to her. She hardly needed to ask to know that Pearl had spent most of the time they hadn’t been speaking, prior to finding Peridot, either searching on her own or fixating on the idea of solving everything by capturing the enemy. The Fusion hummed to pass the time, the beginning notes of a song Steven sometimes sang, playing a little more with Pearl’s long hair. It was so rarely long; impractical as it was beautiful, Pearl had long ago stopped wearing it past her chin. It was more practical that way, but that did not mean Garnet didn’t miss it. After a time, she leaned over Pearl’s shoulder, close enough to feel heat radiating from the slighter Gem’s face, and scanned the computer screen, scrolling downward until she found something that made her chuckle.

 

“What about that one?” Garnet said in between chuckles, drawing back to let Pearl take a look for herself. “I haven’t heard this.”

 

“Wh-what?” Pearl stammered, staring for a long moment at the screen before she pushed the laptop back, cheeks blazing. “Garnet!”

 

“Don’t jerk; I’ll pull your hair,” Garnet teased, smoothing a tangle. “It’s the most interesting question.”

 

Blue-faced, Gem almost equally alight with her embarrassment, Pearl couldn’t answer, couldn’t counterpoint. Garnet was right, but the answer…

 

 

Garnet took her silence well, but from the way Pearl’s fingers twisted the fringe of her newly long hair, she seemed to be giving it real consideration. The Fusion hadn’t expected that, and tried not to look into the future, into the infinite realm of possibilities that Pearl could answer with. Dextrous fingers wove her fine hair into a second braid, and by the time she had reached the base of the shock of pink hair, Pearl seemed ready to speak.

 

Her voice didn’t carry, and Garnet had to lean close to hear her at first. 

 

“Do you remember visiting the island with the starry tide?” Pearl whispered, glad that her bangs were able to obscure her face, even though her eyes were scrunched shut. 

 

Garnet did, but she arched a brow. They hadn’t been to that part of the world in centuries, hadn’t gone alone to islands since…

 

“Pearl, that was more than a thousand years ago,” the Fusion said, somewhat awed. “We went by  _ship_.”

 

“Thirteen hundred years ago, give or take,” Pearl murmured, twisting her tunic so tightly between her fingers that she could hear the seams strain. She forced herself to let go, to breathe, and to open her eyes. She was glad that Garnet couldn’t see her face all the same. “You must remember it as well as I do—the whole thing was Ruby and Sapphire’s idea, but you took me there. We danced in the shallows.”

 

She remembered. Under a slivered moon, in shallow water that the local humans thought was under a spell, alight with phosphorescent plankton and algae that shone brighter than the stars, they had danced without abandon; Pearl glided on top of the water the way she did in her room in the Temple, spun on bare feet, and they were eye-to-eye as they danced and laughed. It was one of Earth’s more magical mysteries, one Pearl hadn’t had an explanation for until quite recently, but one that Sapphire had been determined to show her even if they had to go half way around the world to do it. Ruby had been the one to concoct the entire plan; that they would be gone for weeks, just for this one-night experience. And in turn, Garnet had arranged it with Rose in advance…

 

Just before she had taken another human lover, one whose life was inevitably due to be cut short.

 

Pearl hadn’t known that part. She had been a wreck enough already over Rose’s sporting, over the way humans commanded her interest, over losing out to a primitive mammal yet again. That Rose had fallen for a human princess, frail and beautiful, surrounded by her own luxuries and a court that almost rivaled something of life among nobility on Homeworld, had been truly devastating. A brief dip back into the world they’d left behind, with silks and beautiful tapestries, and carved wooden statues of beasts that humans rarely lived to see—creatures that had come to Rose’s aid during the war, but were real and fresh in Pearl’s immaculate memory—hurt. 

 

Garnet hadn’t wanted to tell her just how short lived this tryst would be, and she hadn’t wanted to be there for Zhū Què’s inevitable death. Humans were so fragile, so delicate… the princess had fallen from horseback. Torn between loyalties, Garnet had picked Pearl’s sanity over Rose’s comfort, knowing Amethyst would distract her in ways much less damaging than Pearl would.

 

“Of course I remember,” Garnet said, pushing the sting of guilt from her mind in favor of remembering the way Pearl’s face shone in the starlight. “We almost fused twice. On _accident_. That was new.”

 

Pearl couldn’t help chuckling a little, despite knowing full well that the real question still remained unanswered, and that Garnet was not forgetful. “I think Sardonyx wanted to join the fun,” she said softly, closing her eyes. Garnet had abandoned her visor in the safety of the darkness, and they had enjoyed the glowing tide until the sun came up. “I think that was it. It was the first time I remember thinking…”

 

Garnet’s hands in her hair stilled completely. “You’ve felt that way for me? Since then?”

 

“No—that is, I don’t… I don’t know,” Pearl admitted, twisting one of her braids around one hand, swallowing hard. “That is… you know what happened after. Rose and I were still… together. After her lover passed. I tried not to think of it.” Her voice caught, and Pearl turned, looking up at Garnet with uncertainty writ across her pale face. “Garnet, you know I’d never come between Ruby and Sapphire. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

 

“I know,” Garnet said quickly, “Of course you wouldn’t. But that wasn’t the question. Did the feeling go away?”

 

Color suffused Pearl’s cheeks again, and she glanced away. “I… No. It didn’t.”

 

“I see.”

 

Garnet’s thoughts turned inward, unsure of what to say, and Pearl was silent. It stretched on between them uncomfortably, and after a while, Garnet resumed combing her fingers through the remaining half of Pearl’s unplaited hair. Minutes passed before Pearl allowed herself to relax into her touch, and finally, Garnet abandoned pretense to wrap her arms loosely around her best friend in a warm hug. Long fingers reached up to grip her arms, shaking only slightly, and the Fusion hushed her, pulling her close.

 

“Thank you, Pearl. For being honest.”


	12. Drawn Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garnet gives Pearl further reassurance before their teammates get home.

> _Anonymous asked: Garnet, how did you feel about the stuff Pearl talked about when you two were in the death trap? About being a Pearl and such. Did you have any idea she'd felt that way?_

 

The minutes stretched endlessly between them, with Pearl leaning back into Garnet’s embrace without fully returning it—not that she could easily, with her arms pinned at her sides; at best she could grip Garnet’s forearms—and she did—and Garnet wished her fingers wouldn’t tremble. The Fusion sighed into her hair, waiting to see if Pearl would take the opportunity to speak, but with each minute they wasted, Amethyst and Steven’s return was due to come that much sooner.

 

She was about to speak, about to offer assurances that nothing was wrong, but Pearl beat her to it.

 

 

“I hope this doesn’t change anything,” the smaller Gem said quietly, “I understand if it’s… uncomfortable.”

 

“Pearl,” Garnet said firmly, giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze and leaning around to meet her eyes. “I’m the one holding _you_ right now. You have nothing to worry about. I’m not going anywhere.”

 

Color dusted Pearl’s cheeks, and she managed both a nod of acknowledgment and a shy smile. “I suppose that’s true,” she whispered, then drew in a shaky breath, steeling herself. “Does this mean it’s my turn to choose a question for you?”

 

Right. Garnet had almost forgotten about the camera running.

 

“If you have one in mind,” Garnet said, releasing her hold. “I intend to finish your hair before the others get back.”

 

Pearl hadn’t exactly forgotten about Amethyst or Steven’s impending return, but it had been far from the forefront of her mind. Still with a faint flush across her pale features, Pearl was silent, instead scrolling through the messages while she tried to think, tried to sort out the past few hours’ worth of an emotional rollercoaster.

 

“This one?” she asked hesitantly, indicating an older message.

 

_Anonymous asked: Garnet, how did you feel about the stuff Pearl talked about when you two were in the death trap? About being a Pearl and such. Did you have any idea she'd felt that way?_

“Is this revenge for my question?” Garnet teased, pushing the second, completed braid over Pearl’s shoulder to keep the wispy strawberry blonde strands that hadn’t quite kept to the plait out of her way. Pearl took the braid at the base, holding it with its partner without a band to tie it off with.

 

“You don’t have to,” Pearl said quickly, “The others just… they were more, er…”

 

“I’m teasing,” Garnet reminded her gently, before going silent for a long moment. Pearl’s rhythmic breathing was quicker than usual, but with each languid stroke of fingers through her hair, the Fusion could feel her relaxing, even minimally.

 

Thinking back, remembering her own anger at the situation, at the slender Gem now perched between her legs, it was hard to really and properly connect with what she’d felt then. Today was a very different day; despite that relatively little time had passed. It had been weeks, but this was the dynamic she was long accustomed to. Simple gestures of intimacy, with closeness and peace settled between them no matter what lay ahead. Garnet supposed, in that way, Pearl’s earlier confession made sense; their friendship, the relationship they’d long cultivated, toed the line between comrades and… more.

 

Ruby and Sapphire didn’t mind, it seemed, from the comfortable current in their respective Gems. And she supposed, in a way, that made sense. The three had been incredibly close to begin with, and when Ruby and Sapphire had become one permanently, it was only natural that the closeness would be twofold.

 

It seemed she had a lot to think about after all.

 

“I don’t like that you have so little confidence,” Garnet said finally, “I know you struggle against what Homeworld instilled in you, and I admire that. You’ve come a long way. You’ve overcome so much, learned so many things other Pearls couldn’t dream of--I’m proud of you. And I don’t understand how you can’t see these things, not when they’re so clear to me.”

 

Pearl’s cheeks were hot again, and she opened her mouth to protest, but Garnet raised a hand to silence her.

 

“I do understand better now. After what you said back there. But you aren’t _just_ a Pearl. You’re the only Pearl in the world that can learn—and teach—sword fighting like it’s dance. You’re headstrong, and brilliant, and dangerous, and talented beyond anything any Pearl from Homeworld could ever dream of being. And none of them _would_. Pearl, you’re the only one who dreams of better things.”

 

Garnet paused, considering for a moment more, and abandoned her work once again to wrap her arms around Pearl’s midsection, tugging her back flush against her chest. “I understand now that what you see from the inside looking out is not what I see looking in. But I hope you know—you’ve always, always been more than _a Pearl_ in my—our—eyes. The only lofty expectations you haven’t met are your own. I hope you’ll see what I do someday.”

 

 

To her credit, deeply touched though she was, Pearl didn’t cry. Not this time. But she had to cover her face in her hands to hide her embarrassment, to hide the brilliant teal flush that could have illuminated a dark cave. And when Garnet tugged her backwards, she came without protest, turning instead to return the embrace with her arms around Garnet’s neck.

 

“Thank you,” she whispered, “Garnet, you didn’t have to say all that. But—“

 

“I think you needed to hear it,” Garnet cut her off, turning her head slightly, just barely dusting her lips over Pearl’s Gem as she spoke. “And if it needs to be said more often, I’ll say it. So you can get stronger. Because I believe in you.”

 

“I’ll do my best,” Pearl whispered breathlessly, feeling the pulse of energy in her Gem and fighting the urge to project the burst of excitement through her Gem. That Garnet had such faith in her, and not just in a life-or-death situation, gave her strength in ways she couldn’t imagine—couldn’t articulate.

 

But that strength was warm in her Gem and in her heart, and she hugged Garnet just that much more tightly. “Thank you, Garnet. You always know what to say.”

 

“Of course I do,” Garnet said smoothly, giving her a reassuring squeeze before releasing her, gently pushing her to sit upright. “Now let me finish your hair.”

 

Pearl withdrew, visibly reluctant. Her fingers lingered on Garnet’s shoulders, dragged gently over her collar, before she pulled away, turning, settling back with her hands folded neatly in her lap.

 

Garnet was about to resume her work, content with the progress they had made, and doubly content with the knowledge that Pearl had shone so brightly with happiness at her words alone. It was nothing she hadn’t said before, though perhaps not all at once, and maybe less point-blank… but even now Pearl seemed to understand—to accept—it with more grace than the last time they’d had an important conversation like this.

 

And then the warp activated, and both she and Pearl nearly leapt off of the couch in surprise.

 

“We’re baaaaack! And I _really_ need a shower, okay _bye_!” Steven exclaimed, bounding straight for the bathroom.

 

Just according to plan.

 

It had been many, many years since Amethyst had seen Pearl with her hair down—and a wicked grin spread across her face. “Why P! Look at you, copying my hair again,” she teased, tossing her wild mane. The paired looks of shock and embarrassment on Garnet and Pearl’s faces were well worth the excruciatingly boring wait after Steven’s phone had run out of juice.

 

 

“A-Amethyst!” Pearl squawked, and with a flash, her long hair was gone, along with all of Garnet’s hard work. Garnet released her, knowing without having to look into the future that Pearl’s next move would be to bound to her feet. “You’re tracking sand and—is that seaweed? That’s disgusting, what were you _doing_?”

 

Garnet watched as Pearl’s diatribe turned rote, replacing her visor almost immediately, but not before catching a look from Amethyst that was too deliberate not to be foreboding.

 

It seemed there would be a lot of talking _and_ thinking in their shared futures.


	13. Wide Open Territory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garnet records a video to answer questions without Pearl present.

The Gems had talked for a long while after Amethyst’s return, settling into a familiar formation on the couch once Amethyst had been divested of kelp and seaweed. They discussed the need to be open together—for Amethyst to join in that openness—and Garnet had finally come clean with the information she’d withheld since their visit to the Kindergarten, about the Gem Fusion experiments. 

 

Pearl cried silently over the news, for the horrors their lost comrades were subjected to; over the impact her deception to fuse into Sardonyx must have caused, and Garnet and Amethyst accepted her reaction. Pearl cried for them, in the way that she also worried for them. Amethyst apologized awkwardly for her defense at the Hub, because in new light, it likely fueled Garnet’s anger.

 

This was the communication they lacked, the reason they struggled so against an inept enemy like Peridot, and Garnet proposed that they work together toward a better understanding all around. And that meant Amethyst, too, was welcome to talk with them, welcome to join in the blog that Garnet knew full well she had been watching and reading even without a confession. Amethyst protested, but weakly, and ultimately agreed to help answer questions… sometimes. For the good of the team.

 

* * *

 

 

It was a reasonably peaceful morning when Garnet slipped out of her room in the Temple to use the laptop. Pearl was gone, training Steven and Connie in the art of sword fighting, and Amethyst had no reason to be awake until midday at the earliest. That would give her plenty of time.

 

Human technology was strange and finicky, but Garnet quickly set the laptop up to begin filming. A cursory check of several probable futures guaranteed her privacy, and with that in mind, she steeled herself. Then, drawing in a deep breath, with her visor firmly in place—and perhaps darker, more solid than usual—she began.

 

“Pearl, I know that we agreed to answer questions together from here on out,” she started, deceptively still where she sat. She was nervous, but her face betrayed no such thing. “But I need to answer some questions… And you do _not_ need to watch this,” Garnet said firmly, “I know these questions have upset you, and I know the answers will, too. I won’t hold it against you if you skip this.” She paused, “And Amethyst, I know you _won’t_ skip this video. But what I’m going to say isn’t up for discussion.”

 

She paused uncomfortably, then sighed. “I’ll start with this question.”

 

> _Anonymous asked:_ _Garnet, how do /did? you feel about Pearl's relationship with Rose? :0_

 

The Fusion grimaced at the question, but read it aloud all the same. It had been an internal battle all night, wrestling with how and whether she wanted to address that at all. The first feeling that bloomed inside her at the thought of Pearl’s unyielding dedication to Rose Quartz was jealousy, and giving that feeling a name had taken several hours. And the answer wasn’t satisfactory; she wasn’t jealous in the conventional sense, and she had no interest in possessing Pearl the way that Rose had, once. 

 

The second feeling was anger, and whether that was directed at Rose, or Pearl, or herself would have taken another night to process. She certainly didn’t know.

 

 

“Frustrated that it ended as it did,” she said finally, realizing that the camera had been rolling for several minutes. Garnet’s gaze flitted down to her palms, safely hidden from the camera, and she knew that it was unfair to wear her visor for this. Still, it was the only comfort she afforded herself as she spoke. “I wanted… there were many paths they could have gone down, and very few happy endings. And none of it was ever my business. I’m guilty of prying into their business without permission, just as Pearl was guilty of deliberately lying to appease Rose Quartz, just as Rose was guilty of being unfaithful. But I didn’t think—I still don’t—think there were bad intentions. Just terrible communication.”

 

And communication, Garnet was beginning to understand, was _everything_ to maintaining a healthy relationship of any kind. She took it for granted, took her very existence for granted, that Ruby and Sapphire shared everything. But the last few months had made it unbearably clear that she needed to heed her own words.

 

_Get open. Get honest!_

 

“All relationships rely on communication,” Garnet went on, “And they didn’t have that, not always. Not enough. Sometimes it was there, and other times...”

 

Other times Pearl had come to her in tears over Rose’s newest fling and begged in between sobs that Garnet say nothing, that it stay between the two of them, where Rose Quartz could never find out just what she was doing to the Gem she always came back to, whose arms were always open even when her heart was breaking.

 

“I supported their happiness,” Garnet said, voice betraying more emotion than she wanted it to. “I’m glad for the good times they shared. But—“ she sucked in a breath of air through her teeth, and went on, determined not to lose her nerve. “I think it would have been better if they had split up long before Greg came into our lives.”

 

A more accurate answer would have been too telling. But in light of Pearl’s confession the last time they had made a video together, Garnet was saddled with the knowledge that Pearl may have had a better— _healthier_ —option available for over a millennia. 

 

For a long moment, Garnet considered saying more—voicing that, letting Pearl know, but she held back. No; she had deliberately made it clear that this video was one she didn’t expect Pearl to watch. 

 

And besides, this wasn’t the time to go around trying to start a new romantic relationship.

 

Garnet fiddled with her visor, pushing it higher up on her nose, then removed it entirely. It vanished in a swirl of light, and she kept her eyes closed for a long moment before drawing in a deep breath. “On to the next.”

 


	14. Expanding Openness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second half of Garnet's video; she answers a hard, long overdue question.

> _Anonymous asked: Garnet, has being mad at Pearl been the most you've ever been angry? Or have you been angrier?_

Garnet had long avoided this question, and this was likely the only chance she would have to answer it. It was a completely different mindset, a completely different set of eyes that opened in unison to look into the camera, burning with fire and ice at once.

 

“Nothing anyone else has done has hurt me that way. I don’t come undone easily,” Garnet spoke through clenched teeth, hands balled into fists around her Gems. “But Pearl was right. Betrayal from someone you love is a different kind of pain.” She paused, inhaled, and closed her eyes to calm down. It took several seconds.

 

When Garnet spoke, her Gems glowed faintly, a cool blue in her right hand, a brilliant contrast to the hot red in her left.

 

“There is a part of me built on logic and forgiveness, and another on feeling and remembrance. Ruby and Sapphire are always there, with me. They—we—don’t deal with these things the same way. I am both of them, and I am neither, and we don’t always agree. But we all feel things deeply, deeper than we... I let on. I was furious. They were angry. Nothing has ever made me feel that way.” The roar in her ears at the hub had been like nothing Garnet had ever experienced, and it was chilling; she never wanted to be so filled with rage again.

 

  


  


“That anger came from hurt,” Garnet continued, “And... that hurt came from Pearl betraying us. But I’ve been angry for worse things. I don’t hate Pearl, I never could. Hate is stronger than anger. And I hate Homeworld for what they’ve done. To the Earth; to our comrades; to us.”

 

To Pearl in particular.

 

Even if some of Pearl’s brokenness had nothing to do with Homeworld.

 

It took several long moments for Garnet to release her anger, static on the air tangible. She could taste it, and had to hum to herself to eliminate the bitter flavor on her tongue, to let the patience that she knew came primarily from Sapphire resurface. The lights flickered above her, and she privately hoped that Steven’s laptop was unscathed. She hadn’t meant to let that much show, to let her feelings come through so candidly—but not wearing her visor aided in that, she supposed. She considered replacing it, but decided against it for now. There were still questions yet unanswered.

 

“Pearl,” she started, shifting her gaze toward the ceiling and closing her middle eye; blocking out the endless possible futures that flashed through her mind, even for just a moment. “If you do watch this... If you’ve watched this far, don’t cry. Nothing between us will change.”

 

And then an idea came to her, and Garnet leaned forward again, managing a smile, though lopsided. Her visor flashed across her face in a rush of blue and red light, obscuring her eyes once again. “Actually... I’ll answer another question. A good one, this time.”

 

> _Anonymous asked: Would you two ever consider entering a permanent fusion like Ruby and Sapphire, or is loving another as independent gems its own special experience?_

Garnet read this aloud, too, and lapsed into silence. She knew the answer—knew _her_ answer, if not Pearl’s—but she did want to give Ruby and Sapphire the opportunity to mull it over for themselves. It was something they had never considered, not separately, but Garnet could feel both sides of their conversation as they hashed it out.

 

“We could never be Sardonyx permanently,” Garnet said finally, “I would... it’s difficult. To remain myself, when there’s someone else in the mix. My relationship with Pearl isn’t the only thing that makes Sardonyx; it’s all three Gems, our four personalities. Eventually, because I’m a Fusion, I would be lost in the crowd.”

 

Garnet paused, then licked her lips, betraying her nervousness. “But... barring that. If it were possible and sustainable, I could easily stay fused with Pearl for a very long time. For better or worse.” Garnet didn’t want to consider how disastrous it would be to let Sardonyx out permanently, but then, that was a future that would never come to pass. “I would rather live as we are, to experience the world together as Pearl and Garnet. Permanently. I think that has a nice ring to it.”


	15. Heartfelt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl watches Garnet's videos with a little boost from Steven.

It took Pearl three days to work up the nerve to watch Garnet’s full video.

 

She endured Amethyst’s knowing looks, the unsubtle way she would leave a mess near the computer to tempt her. She’d watched the beginning, but backpedaled. So soon after making up, with things going so well, Pearl didn’t really think she was emotionally ready for her utopia to come crashing down around her. Garnet wasn’t acting as if anything had changed between them, and that was almost as worrying as a change of attitude would have been. 

 

Something should have changed. Pearl had deliberately kept her feelings under wraps for so long, so carefully hidden, and having them out in the open felt raw. 

 

Maybe nothing would change after all. 

 

Pearl could not help the ache in her heart at the prospect, even though she had never really indulged in hope for something more with Garnet.

 

So she was afraid, and watching the video was a daunting task.

 

It took Steven’s encouragement, in the end, as so many things did. Pearl didn’t know what she would do without a push in the right direction sometimes, independent Gem or not. It was still easier to take instruction than to trust her own instincts, especially now, even if she was getting… somewhere. Some progress was being made. Each day her steps were a little surer, and that fear of ruining everything fell farther away. 

 

Baby steps. Baby steps that Pearl didn’t know she had time for.

 

“Won’t it be worse if you wait and wonder?” Steven had asked, tugging Pearl by the hand as they walked. He’d taken her shopping for regular house supplies—mostly cleaning and bathroom things, items that didn’t discomfit her the way grocery shopping sometimes did. 

 

Pearl had to concede that he was right about that, even if she didn’t want to. Putting things off was no way to get anything important done, and she knew it. Steven was growing up so quickly, getting so smart so fast. She’d squeezed his hand and agreed to watch it in private after they got home.

 

 

As expected, the video had quickly brought her to tears. Thinking about her past relationship with Rose Quartz had that effect on her without exception, only this time, hearing about it from Garnet’s perspective… 

 

It hurt to know that her suspicions and anxieties hadn’t been totally unfounded during the thousands of years she’d been with Rose, but knowing that she would never have given those years up—pain and all—almost helped. Almost. 

 

Rose had been everything to her, and everything she had defined herself by for centuries. She was custom made, after all; Rose’s Pearl in every way, even after the war. When Rose fancied short hair, she’d changed her look; when Rose fancied, briefly, button noses, she’d tried that too—anything to gain the love of her life’s attention, to get a glance. She learned to fight and die. She learned to sing and dance. She could speak several human languages fluently, and a few alien languages badly, all to impress Rose Quartz. 

 

And it hadn’t ultimately mattered. 

 

But Garnet was right, and realizing that hurt. Greg wasn’t the reason things had ended between them. Rose always had a new favorite, a new notion, a new human to be madly in love with. It happened like clockwork. Rose loved humans, she loved Earth, she loved...

 

She hadn’t not loved Pearl. Pearl knew that. But the more she thought on it, the more she wondered if being _a_ Pearl was _why_ Rose could never fully love her. If her desperation and eagerness to please was off-putting, her inability to be her own Gem...

 

She cried long and hard, paused the video to get it out of her system, and hugged a pillow tightly against her torso while she wept. 

 

Garnet’s second video didn’t have her faring much better, but it was mostly information she already knew. Pearl still cried, but it quickly turned to warm tears of relief. Garnet hadn’t hated her. Garnet said she _couldn’t_ hate her. That was more than she could ever bank on, had ever heard directly from the other Gem—and when she spent so much time fighting against hating herself, there was no way to be anything but blissfully relieved that her best friend had never come close to feeling that way. 

 

And when Garnet addressed her directly, told her not to cry, assured her that things between them weren’t to change, her behavior over the past few days suddenly made sense. With that weight lifted, she could dry her tears, blow her nose, and steel herself for the rest of the clip. 

 

It was the question about fusing permanently that surprised her. Pearl hadn’t thought about it; they never fused long enough to lose each other, for her consciousness to meld into Garnet’s or for Garnet’s to give way to Ruby or Sapphire’s. It was a whirlwind inside Sardonyx’s core; all feeling and warmth and laughter and love, and being Sardonyx felt like drowning, if drowning were wonderful and deliriously happy and safe. 

 

But Garnet’s answer, that there was still a two of them, together, a unit, outside of Sardonyx—Pearl didn’t think her heart could swell so big without bursting. She exited the video to record her own immediately, to thank Garnet, to tell her exactly how much that honesty meant—

 

And balked almost immediately as she hit record.

 

“Garnet...” she started, tears still in her eyes, but she was smiling. And suddenly, words failed her completely. What she wanted to say, what Garnet deserved to hear in response... Everything caught in her throat, robbed her of her voice, and she shook her head. No, a video wouldn’t do. 

 

“Thank you, Garnet. I... I needed that.” 

 

She hurriedly closed the recording, moving to post it—and her courage failed her again. She settled for putting it in a draft, to give herself time to think about it, to think of something better to say. 

 

The draft never did get posted; that very night, Peridot made her move.

 

And for the next few weeks, their lives were about to be turned completely upside down.

 


	16. In the Wake of Change (1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot makes her move, and everything is about to change, hopefully for the better. Pearl gets a little bolder.

Time moved so quickly on Earth; it was astounding, really, how little could happen for days at a time, only to have a handful of hours explode with activity.

Pearl regretted, deeply, honoring Steven’s request that she stop watching him sleep. The warp’s activation had come from outside; she knew only because she, Garnet, and Amethyst had all been together at the time, and Steven never warped anywhere on his own without telling them, not after the Mask Island Incident.  

Garnet had scanned for a cause before they could make it out of the Temple, and Pearl still felt chills hours later at the way the rosy color had drained from her face before she well outran her companions.

They could have lost Steven, and Pearl knew that none of them could have taken that.

The important thing, though, was that they hadn’t. And perhaps, because it had been the closer of the two calls, that Peridot hadn’t succeeded in blasting her Gem into dust during their short-lived fight. She could still feel the heat of her laser blaster on her skin—knew that at close inspection, she’d lost some of her bangs—but that was nothing. That was inconsequential. She’d been near death before, and Garnet had saved her.

That was fine.

Telling herself that got her home without a fuss; got her to the point where she could breeze through the rest of the night. She helped get Steven to bed, shakily thanked Garnet (to which Amethyst cut their de facto leader off, saying that she didn’t need to act like it was new that Garnet would whup butt for them, and Garnet nodded in agreement), and tried to go to her room to dance it off.

It wasn’t long before Amethyst came to get her, and the older Crystal Gems sat together to discuss—quietly—what had happened. Their relief was short-lived, however, as Peridot burst from the Temple, with Steven close behind.

Their response had been quick, somewhat uncoordinated, but ultimately more cohesive than anything they’d done in weeks. Peridot was safely captured inside Steven’s bathroom, for now. Moreover, Lion had taken to guarding the door in his own way; fast asleep in the too-small hallway, where Peridot had no way to escape.

With Steven finally in bed, and Amethyst ready to “get her grub on”—and on alert, just in case anything happened—Pearl could finally let the day catch up to her. She did what came naturally; sought out Garnet. Millennia of history made her easy to find, up on one of the Temple’s remaining hands, where Steven’s washer and dryer were. Garnet liked to go there to think, to get time to herself, and Pearl made up her mind that she would leave if her best friend asked, no matter how much she would have liked to spend the night at her side, where she was safe. Protected. Where the tingle of that laser canon couldn’t reach her, and where the back of her eyelids didn’t flash white against the green light that had almost ended her life.

Only to find that Garnet was hunched forward, visor banished, with her fists clenched and shaking. She looked torn between crying and ripping something—or someone—apart with her bare hands, no gauntlets needed.

 

“Garnet?” Pearl asked hesitantly, more to alert her companion of her presence than anything. Garnet whipped her head around, saw that it was Pearl—and only Pearl—and to the slighter Gem’s relief, she could see her shoulders go a little slack.

“Pearl. I didn’t expect you,” Garnet’s voice was low, betraying her weariness. Pearl took it as neither an invitation nor rejection and opted to finish the climb in one jump, landing close to Garnet and folding her legs under herself to sit on the ground at her companion’s left. “You should be resting.”

“And you shouldn’t?” Pearl asked, raising a hand, hesitating, and then setting it atop Garnet’s knee. The Fusion’s left hand immediately reached for hers, gripping it tightly, and Pearl could feel Ruby’s heat in her palm. She squeezed back. “Tonight was... an adventure,” she said quietly, managing a lopsided grin that didn’t meet her eyes. “But we won! Peridot’s finally captured—thanks to _you_ , Garnet! Doesn’t that help? We should be happy. That much is over.”

But they weren’t happy. Garnet wasn’t, and deep down, neither was Pearl. She averted her eyes, staring out over the sea with an expression Pearl couldn’t read on her stony face.

Garnet didn’t speak, and for a long while, neither did Pearl. Finally, with a sigh, she leaned heavily against Garnet’s leg. “I’m sorry,” she said in a whisper, “I was reckless back there. If you weren’t so quick...”

“That’s not it,” Garnet cut in, scrubbing at the wetness in her eyes before Pearl could see it. “It’s... part, but I’m not angry. Not about that.”

But she was angry, and it was plain as day. Even with a few hours before the sun would come up, Pearl could see that much. Garnet’s brows knit together in the dark, and her plush lips pursed into a frown. Pearl squeezed her hand.

“It’s nothing.”

“We agreed, no more secrets,” Pearl said quickly, leaning up to tug Garnet’s right hand down, twining their fingers. She knew she had no room to make that request, but Garnet nodded curtly in response. In agreement. The smaller Gem stood, holding her hands tightly, and then carefully arranged herself in her lap, perched evenly on either leg. “Garnet, talk to me... Please.”

 


	17. In the Wake of Change (2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl and Garnet continue their conversation in the laundry area.

Pearl’s presence was a mixed blessing. Garnet had come to the laundry area alone to clear her head, to find some kind of quiet from the visions and memories that tried to overrun her grip on reality. There were hundreds of possible futures she’d had to wade through in the past few hours, some grizzly and others unthinkable. Based on numbers alone, Pearl shouldn’t have been here now, shouldn’t have made it back in one piece—

No, that wasn’t quite right. Her Gem would’ve been in one piece. But half of it would have been burned away, melted to nothing, beyond any salvation. Vaporized. No healing spring, and no magic in the world could have brought the Pearl they knew back from that.

Poofing Peridot had been so easy, and Garnet was almost ashamed—but it was one of the only solutions she could come to, the only viable option in the split seconds she had if Pearl was going to survive. Still, that she could—and had—crushed her so easily, destroyed her physical body with her gauntlets alone… that chilled her.

_As if I’d negotiate with you, filthy war machine!_

Garnet almost didn’t blame their captive for that, even if she’d seen red at the insult. She knew it was a jab at her existence as a Fusion, and she knew—worse yet—that Peridot was right. Fusion had won the war, after all. Ruby and Sapphire fused for love, but there were countless other Gems, long dead and broken, who had only ever fused on the battlefield. She was right. Homeworld treated Fusion as a weapon, and that explained so, so much, so much about Jasper and Lapis…

She shook her head, tried to clear her jumbled thoughts, and was met with Pearl’s worried face only inches from hers. Garnet tried in vain to smile, to assure her that it really was nothing, but the lie caught in her throat.

Instead she squeezed Pearl’s hands, cool in hers, but solid and real and  _there_ , then closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath. “I was scared. I almost lost you. Steven was taken right under our noses, and then Peridot almost killed you—“ her voice caught, and Pearl withdrew one hand to dust her fingers across Garnet’s cheek. The Fusion leaned into her touch, eyes half-lidded. “I saw so many outcomes, Pearl. So many ways I’d lose you. I couldn’t take it.”

Color found its way to Pearl’s cheeks. Garnet was so direct with her words, so much more forward than she had ever learned to be. “But Garnet,” Pearl murmured, “You saved me. You succeeded.” She paused, “I know… it doesn’t make the past go away. Or what you saw. But I’m here. Thanks to you, none of those outcomes came to pass.”

Garnet nodded absently, having known Pearl would say something like that. Of course she would; Pearl had no reason to doubt, to distrust her, to put weight in…

 

 

“What do you think of what Peridot said?” Garnet asked abruptly, searching Pearl’s face. “About me. A war machine.” She paused, but added before Pearl could answer; “Sapphire is so angry. Ruby, too. If not for you, we would’ve broken that door down and proved her right.”

Pearl’s eyes widened at the notion that her words, spoken while she was still half-numb from earlier, could have stayed Garnet’s hands back there. “I know better,” she said, watching as Garnet’s gaze drifted away again. She caught her face in both hands to meet her eyes as best she could, managing a smile. “Garnet, I’ve fused  _with_  you. You’re a great warrior, and a natural leader, and amazing to fight beside—but Garnet, you’re not a  _war machine_. You love too much for that.”

“Fusion, then,” Garnet protested, feeling frustration bubble up inside her chest, choking her voice as she spoke. “Fusing for war. For battle. It’s why you and Amethyst form Opal—it’s why Jasper and Lapis fused against us. It’s the only reason we fuse. Pearl, I…”

“Garnet!” Pearl cut her off, feeling tears prickling at the corners of her own eyes. “Garnet, you aren’t a battle tactic. You’re… you’re  _you_. You’re Garnet. You’re beautiful, and funny, and brilliant, and kind, and inspiring… You’re  _amazing_. I would fuse with you anytime you asked, for as long as you wanted—Fusion is an  _experience_ , not a  _tactic_ … with you, that is.”

Her words caught then, and Pearl shook her head, blinking at the tears that threatened to fall and astonished to see wetness in Garnet’s eyes, too. She ran a thumb along her eye line, banishing what she could. Garnet’s hands, in turn, found her sides. “I know, I… ruined it between us. Or damaged it, maybe not forever, but I  _did_. Either way. It’s… it’s like you said. In the video.” There, now Garnet’s eyes were all on her, wide with surprise. She really hadn’t expected Pearl to watch it, after all. “If you’d lose yourself, I wouldn’t want to be Sardonyx forever. I want to experience  _you_ , Garnet, as… as you are. All the time. Together.” Her candidness was quickly catching up to her, creeping up her cheeks in a spectacular blush that lit up her Gem with a faint blue hue. “I choose Garnet over Sardonyx. So… so don’t worry. No matter what anyone else says. You’re just right.”

“Pearl…” Garnet’s voice was a tight whisper, and Pearl felt a shiver tingle its way up her spine at her tone. And then, in an act that was equal parts brevity and impulsiveness, Pearl leaned in to press her lips to Garnet’s—only to be met midway by the other Gem, who easily made up for a lack of experience with more confidence than Pearl had. Garnet’s palms slid effortlessly up her back, tangling in her hair.

_This_ —this was perfect.

 

 

Pearl’s Gem glowed bright white then, and although the chaste kiss lasted only a few seconds, she had to pull away before she lost herself to it—to the roaring call of the stage, of lights and laughter and dragonflies. She jerked back with a gasp, startled to see that Garnet’s Gems were glowing faintly as well—but Garnet was smiling, cheeks flushed, all three eyes crinkled at the corners with happiness.

“We’ll have to work on that,” Garnet said dryly, reaching for Pearl again as the glow in their Gems faded, leaving them alone in the semi-darkness of an early summer morning. She slipped her arms around the smaller Gem’s frame, tugging her in close, and buried her face in her strawberry pink hair.

Pearl could scarcely nod; fumbling a little as she settled in to hug Garnet tightly, still perched on her lap. “Ah?”

“Not fusing,” Garnet explained, rubbing circles underneath Pearl’s shoulder blades that made her whine. “If the goal is to be together like this, we can’t keep being too synchronized.” She paused, then added quietly, “Thank you, Pearl. You don’t know how badly I hoped… This wasn’t an outcome I expected.”

The smaller Gem said nothing for a moment, then ventured; “But you were hoping?” 

“For a long while,” Garnet admitted, “Maybe about as long as you.”


	18. Catch and Release

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takes place during the end of "Catch and Release." Some dialogue borrowed from the episode.

They didn’t waste time dwelling long on their newfound romantic relationship. Pearl, for her part, flustered easily—which made it easier for Garnet, who could maintain more outward composure, to be sure they wouldn’t accidentally form Sardonyx during… activities. But kissing aside, there were more pressing issues at hand, and more important things to focus on looming on the horizon. With the sunrise came a new day and a new slough of things the Crystal Gems needed to do, none of which were nearly as pleasurable as kissing or holding one another.

 

Garnet didn’t think much had changed, not really, but Amethyst immediately noticed a change in the air between them when they warped back inside. Pearl’s long fingers curled around Garnet’s bicep was nothing unusual, and Garnet’s hands on her hips was the stance she almost always warped in. But one glance was all it took for Amethyst to grin almost impossibly wide, hopping down from the kitchen counter where she’d been eating more of the flavor packets that went with Steven’s boxed pasta, and to assess her teammates.

 

“About time!” she cheered, just barely low enough not to wake Steven. Lion made a grumble at the disruption, cracking open one glowing eye half way before he decided to rise for the day, wandering away from his position guarding the bathroom door. “I can’t believe you two finally hooked up!”

 

“A-Amethyst,” Pearl spluttered, flushing up to her roots, and somehow, Amethyst’s grin grew visibly wider. “What do you mean, ‘finally’? This hasn’t—“

 

 

“Been bubbling under the surface forever? Uh, P, have you  _seen_  you two?” Amethyst teased, glancing up at Garnet, whose lips were quirked in a faint show of amusement. Satisfied that she was still allowed to continue her line of teasing, Amethyst went on, enjoying Pearl’s frustration. She counted off on each finger as she listed things off; “You never stop  _this_ ,” she started, gesturing to their arms, “You can’t go three days without talking to each other, you make sure nobody else can go three days without you talking to each other, you always gang up on me together, you practically sing each other’s praises when you’re not in the same room, you stare at Garnet’s butt  _every time we warp_ —“

 

“I do  _not_!”

 

“Pearl,” Garnet said soothingly, reaching to give the hand on her arm a squeeze. “She’s riling you up on purpose.”

 

“But—Garnet!”

 

“And I’ve seen you do it, too,” Garnet cut in, grinning broadly at the fresh explosion of teal that dusted Pearl’s nose.

 

Pearl mumbled something, but her embarrassment garbled it beyond anything either of her companions could make out. Garnet took pity on her, pressing a kiss into the crown of her hair before releasing her and stepping off the warp pad.

 

“All right team,” she said, all business by the time she reached the kitchen. “We’ve got more serious things to worry about. Such as what to do with Peridot now that she’s under our roof.”

 

Switching topics on a dime was something Pearl was hardwired for, but some of her embarrassment still lingered, even as Amethyst gave her a thumbs up as she went to take her place behind the kitchen counter. They discussed things quietly until Steven awoke. “But even if we do get her to come out of the bathroom…” Pearl started, heaving a sigh as the boy crossed toward the chamber in question, carrying Peridot’s foot with him.  

 

“She’s never gonna talk to us,” Amethyst finished for her, leaning back on her stool, kicking her feet idly.

 

Garnet’s brows knit worriedly behind her visor. “Looks like there’s not much else we can do right now,” she conceded, catching the look of defeat in Pearl’s blue eyes before her usual bravado could mask it.

 

“We have her at our mercy, at least,” Pearl said, adding hastily; “Even if the circumstances aren’t ideal.” She paused, glancing from Amethyst to Garnet. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Steven negotiating his way into the bathroom with the use of Peridot’s foot. “How important do you think this ‘Cluster’ is?”

 

“If it has anything to do with the experiments she was conducting at the Kindergarten? Very,” Garnet said, not bothering to mask the bitterness in her voice. Behind her, the bathroom door clicked shut, and Amethyst leaned out to see Steven disappear inside. The three waited with baited breath, but when there was no sign of a scuffle, they sighed in unison.

 

“I hate this,” Amethyst declared, pushing her near-white hair out of her eyes, “Malachite’s not enough, now we have to worry about this  _Cluster_  too? This stinks.”

 

“Peridot will crack,” Garnet said, folding her arms. “We don’t have to worry about that. In the meantime, we keep at her, and we keep looking for Malachite.”

 

Pearl said nothing for a moment, then sighed, shoulders slumping in resignation. “I suppose without her weapons, Steven would be able to contain her…” she said, “That is, if we were out searching for either. Can we really afford to split up for these things? What if…” she trailed off, and this time, it was Amethyst’s turn to reach for her, clapping her on the shoulder a little too hard.

 

“No what ifs,” she said, “If anybody gets poofed, it’ll be me, just like always! I’m sure it’ll be fine. Right, Garnet?”

 

Garnet’s nod was almost imperceptive, and she made a show of pushing up her visor with one hand. “Nobody’s going to get poofed. And we can stay together for most of the work.” She paused, “If you’re worried, Pearl, we can stick to a buddy system. Nobody goes on a mission alone. Peridot’s here, so we won’t have to worry about danger. There’s nothing in the house she can hurt us with.” And more importantly, nothing she could hurt Steven with.

 

Pearl conceded defeat at that, giving Amethyst’s hand an appreciative squeeze. “All right,” she said, “I… I think that’s a good idea. None of us should be out there alone, anyway.” Not against Malachite, and not against whatever the Cluster was. Even if it were as weak as the mutant Gem experiments were, Garnet was the only one not likely to get overpowered by numbers alone, and only if they didn’t get their hands on her again.

 

They settled into silence after that, and Amethyst chewed idly on the remaining pasta package she hadn’t finished earlier.

 

“I’m going to do dishes,” Pearl announced at length, turning her attention to the ever-present mound of plates and pans that sat in Steven’s sink anytime the Crystal Gems had to go somewhere for more than a day. With the water running, scrub in hand, she didn’t hear Amethyst lean in to whisper to Garnet, and neither did she hear Garnet’s whispered response.

 

The buddy system was entirely for Pearl’s sake, but she didn’t need to know that, and neither did she need to know that her teammates intended to continue with their own solo missions as they came up. Some things were better kept under wraps.


	19. Near and Far Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl and Steven have an important talk. Garnet and Pearl get back to business.

Peridot was predictably uncooperative, but it got under Pearl’s skin more than the other Gems. She would catch herself shooting half-hearted glares at the bathroom door while she cleaned, deliberately vacuumed near it until Steven asked her to stop. Deprived of her chores, and the only way she could fight back against Peridot’s repeated declarations of partial victory at her expense, Pearl took to angrily folding laundry in the living room.

“Pearl?” Steven asked worriedly, startling the Gem out of her revere.

“Yes, Steven?” Pearl asked, mechanically setting the folding aside. Steven wrung his hands, and Pearl opened her arms for him, earning a big hug she didn’t think she quite deserved, in light of her petty behavior earlier. Steven was big enough now that he could completely engulf Pearl in his hugs, but she could remember vividly when the boy had been too small to do more than hold a finger or two in his chubby baby hands. It seemed so recent, and at the same time, so long ago, and Pearl didn’t understand the conflict in her own memories. But she hugged back, as she always did, stroking the boy’s hair affectionately.

“Did Amethyst tell you?” he asked abruptly, voice only slightly muffled against her collar.

“Amethyst doesn’t tell me anything,” Pearl replied almost automatically, shifting to let Steven sit in her lap without breaking their embrace. “What about?”

Steven was silent for long enough that Pearl didn’t think he’d respond, and that worried her, but she could wait. It was nice to get a lull in things with the young boy for a change, especially after almost losing him the night before.

Finally, he spoke, but it was muffled, and Pearl had to lean in to hear him. “When we went on that mission together, when Garnet stayed here with you… we uh… we fought a monster.”

“Well, of course,” Pearl cut in soothingly, “That’s what we always do on missions.”

“Yeah, but—“ Steven protested, eyes downcast. He squeezed Pearl’s shoulders tightly. “It was this big reef monster. And there was a giant clam. But it used to be a pearl… like you.”

 _Oh_.

 

 

She froze for a moment, trying to recall how many other pearls they had bubbled, instinctively trying to assign a familiar face to a monster she hadn’t seen. But it didn’t matter which of their former comrades had been bubbled, and she knew it; there was no bringing whoever it had been back, not yet. Pearl’s hands recovered before she could, and she stroked Steven’s back soothingly. “I see.”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t wanna keep it a secret,” Steven blurt out, more outwardly upset than Pearl was. “Amethyst and I bubbled the Gem, and it’s in the Temple, but I didn’t want you to think we were hiding it from you… Even though we kind of were… We just didn’t want to upset you.”

A watery smile that threatened to turn teary was the best Pearl could manage, and she squeezed the boy back. She inhaled deeply, turning her eyes toward the ceiling, toward Rose’s portrait, before she had garnered her thoughts enough to speak.

“Now Steven… We Crystal Gems have had to do this for thousands of years,” she said, slipping easily into Lecture Mode. “Even if it did upset me—“ and it _did_. It hurt deep down in her soul where she liked to ignore her feelings, where she pushed away traitorous thoughts of home and of Rose Quartz, and lost comrades, “—I could handle hearing about it. I’m not fragile. More importantly, I want you to be able to talk to me. Especially about Gem things.” Pearl pressed a light kiss into his curly hair, so unlike Rose’s. There were times when Steven reminded her of her lost love, but those times were fewer and farther between now. “You can talk to me anytime, Steven.”

Steven nodded, managing a smile in return. It was a weight he hadn’t wanted to shoulder, well intentioned or otherwise, but hearing that lifted some of it. “You can talk to me too,” he offered, knowing that Pearl likely wouldn’t take him up on it. None of the other Crystal Gems did. “I want to be there for you, too.”

The affirmative noise Pearl made was noncommittal, but she brushed his hair away from his face. “You’re always there for me. For all of us,” Pearl said with a smile.

“Like mom was?” Steven ventured uncertainly, and sure enough, Pearl’s smile faltered.

“Rose was… different,” Pearl said, choking on feelings she didn’t want to think about. “You’re alike, but you’re not the same, Steven. You’re you.” She paused, blinking rapidly against the threat of tears, and drew in a shaky breath. “And you’re perfect… as Steven. Your way is just perfect.”

Wide near-black eyes stared up at her questioningly, but Steven ultimately nodded, hugging her again. “Want help with laundry?” he asked eventually, “I can fold too. It’ll go faster if we do it together.”

There was one of those differences shining through, and Pearl nodded. “Of course. Let’s do it together.”

Garnet watched them, glad for the step forward. Steven had that effect on all of them, but she knew that Pearl often needed it more than she let on. She smiled, watched two of her favorite people alive as they bonded over mundane chores, and slipped away into the Temple before she could get roped into folding shirts.

 

* * *

 

With laundry out of the way, and Amethyst back from who-knew-where (armed with both food and some suspiciously expired-smelling trash), Pearl retired to her room. Keeping tabs on Peridot was a one-Gem job, and Steven and Amethyst had proven more than capable of handling their captive, not that Peridot had made any attempts to leave the confines of the bathroom. Yet. Pearl still suspected it was only a matter of time before something happened, but if Garnet hadn’t seen it, she would put the worry out of her mind.

Besides, she had something else to worry about at present.

Pearl couldn’t activate every door in the Temple, but she could access several with her Gem’s magic alone, and she knew how to work her way downward to get to the basement. The halls wound aimlessly through the pocket dimension, some where gravity worked like it did on Earth, others where Pearl had to remind herself before she made an undignified step that the gravitational pull was on the left wall and not the floor.

The Temple itself was beautiful, but it served as a reminder of the world long left behind, and Pearl didn’t like to wander alone. She kept her guard up, listening for signs of life—Garnet, or perhaps the  _Slinker,_ or something like it—as she wandered.

She passed a corridor that she knew lead to the room Sapphire once kept, and that meant that in her unfocused state, she’d gotten turned around. Too far down, too far west. There were curtains in some halls, covering windows into other rooms, and the magic that kept everything together was well beyond even Pearl’s best understanding. But she could peek through small holes in the wall to glimpse parts of the Temple she’d never visited alone, reach through portals that lead everywhere and nowhere, and some that even only worked one way, and it wasn’t long before she found her feet had carried her to the center.

The Heart of the Temple was not to be tempered with, but it was a great center point to get her bearings at. Pearl watched it for a bit, then sighed, turning toward a staircase that she knew only went a few meters before it would dump her out in the boiler room.

She knew better than to be surprised that Garnet was there waiting for her; it was, after all, Garnet’s room as much as any. Still, she hadn’t expected to find her holding exactly the bubble she was looking for.

“You caught me,” Pearl said guiltily, worrying her bottom lip. The boiler room was off-limits, generally, but Garnet didn’t seem concerned.

“Steven told you about the reef monster,” Garnet said, earning a nod in response. The Fusion paused for a moment, then offered the Rose Quartz—Steven’s—bubble for inspection. “You wanted to see who it was?”

Garnet’s powers of observation were unmatched, but even Pearl couldn’t help wondering how she’d figured all that out. She took the bubble hesitantly, looking in at the Gem trapped inside. She could see her own face reflected in the perfect polish of nacre through the pink of the bubble.

“Mother…” she said in a whisper, choked with grief too close to the surface. Mother of Pearl was a title granted to the one of the oldest pearls on Homeworld; one no one had expected would join the rebellion. “It was Black Pearl? Is that why you wanted me to stay behind?”

 

 

“I wasn’t sure,” Garnet admitted, reaching for the bubble and gingerly lifting it from Pearl’s hands. She nudged it upward, toward the other Gems that were trapped inside the room, close to the ceiling. “It might have been Blue.”

“We’ve fought Blue,” Pearl whispered, fidgeting before wrapping her arms around herself to stave off the empty feeling in her gut. “Black and Yellow are the only ones left.”

Her partner nodded stiffly, watching her for a moment before reaching to smooth her fringe away from her Gem. “I’m sorry. I wanted to protect you from all that,” Garnet whispered, earning wide, glassy blue eyes looking up at her. “I know we’ve been doing this since they first started appearing, but it isn’t fair to you.”

“They were your friends, too,” Pearl protested, blinking against tears that were destined to win. Hot tears trickled down her cheeks faster than Garnet could brush them away, and she buried her face against the Fusion’s breastplate, easily swept up in a tight hug.

“You came first,” Garnet said simply, rubbing soothing circles against her back, just below her sash. “You’ve always been first, Pearl.” More than that, none of the others had meant nearly as much—Rose’s Pearl was different, beautiful and bright and brilliant, the sun in a sea of dim stars. Garnet pressed a kiss to her crown, much the same way Pearl had for Steven earlier. “Let’s not dwell on it. We could answer more questions, if it would get your mind off things.”

Pearl nodded a little, pulling back as much as Garnet would allow with her arms around her narrow torso, and managed a watery smile. Time with Garnet could heal almost any wound. “All right. Let’s get the computer.”


	20. Flashback - Second Impression

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> War-era interlude for the prompt "first kiss" over on Tumblr!

Rose Quartz threw parties after every battle. This was nothing new, hadn’t been for nearly a thousand years, but it still felt strange to Garnet, when each battle cost lives. Rose had explained it many times, a thing she’d learned from some human tribe, that they celebrated because life had to go on, and because it was a disservice to the fallen to sit back and mourn their loss instead of celebrating accomplishments they’d made in life. Garnet supposed that made sense, in theory, but in practice…

 

Whooping and hollering, singing and drinking strange things made from fruit the humans grew, dancing and fusing for sport—it seemed wrong. It sat strangely in her stomach, tasted bad in her mouth, and she dared tell no one. Even Pearl didn’t know about her discomfort at these parties, and only because she was so close to Rose—it felt like blasphemy to question, no, to _reject_ Rose’s reasoning. 

 

She took to the banquet table, going for some of the honeyed wine to think less. Replicating a human-like body that included similar organs had its ups and downs, but with practice, Garnet had managed to make one that suited her needs. 

 

Drunk wasn’t an option; she wouldn’t allow herself that kind of loss of control, and probably couldn’t really afford it if she wanted to stay fused. But pleasantly buzzed only took a few bowls, and made her future vision a little easier to ignore. So Garnet drank, enjoyed the warm feeling the drink left in her stomach, and did her best not to think about the battle that was less than a full day behind her. 

 

“Garnet!” Pearl’s voice, unmistakable, cut into her musings, and she looked up to see the slighter Gem skirting dancers to make her way toward her. The pale Gem bounded up to her, catching her in a hug, and Garnet’s arms wrapped easily around her small frame. This was something Garnet looked forward to after every fight; knowing that Pearl was going to do her best to make it to their distant future together by the sea didn’t make her worry less. 

 

“Pearl,” Garnet sighed into her hair, lifting her effortlessly off of the ground. “I’m glad you’re safe.”

 

“Of course,” Pearl said, drawing away to grin up at Garnet. “Garnet, we did it—we took the enemy’s base without a loss!”

 

Garnet’s eyes widened at that; she’d never heard of a battle that went without _any_ casualties. “Not one?”

 

“Everyone’s accounted for!” Pearl exclaimed, mounting excitement evident. “Kyanite and I double checked; no losses, no major injuries; Pink Pearl didn’t have to treat anyone at all at the fountain! It was a complete success, Garnet!”

 

It was unprecedented, and Pearl’s excitement was catching. Garnet couldn’t help the broad grin that spread across her face, couldn’t ignore the way Pearl clung to her bodily, arms wound around her shoulders like she never intended to let go, hips and chest pressed as close as their clothing would allow. Pearl didn’t normally stay like this for so long, but the Fusion found that she didn’t mind, not at all. It was nice, having her closest friend wrapped up in her arms, even if she belonged to Rose Quartz in every sense of the idea.

 

Maybe it was the drink—lowered inhibitions were, after all, a side effect of alcohol. But whatever the reason, Garnet found her hands traveling up to Pearl’s face, catching the curves of her cheeks in her palms, and she leaned in. “I’m glad,” Garnet said, almost nose-to-nose with her companion. 

 

“Were you drinking?” Pearl asked, somewhat surprised, cheeks flushed at the closeness. Garnet was usually quite standoffish; not prone to the public acts of affection Ruby and Sapphire were separately. 

 

“A bit,” Garnet admitted, knowing that was an understatement. She’d had her fill for one evening already, save one or two more bowls at most. The Fusion grinned, nudging Pearl’s sharp nose with hers, earning an undignified noise of protest that warmed her heart. Pearl was so uptight, so fastidious, but she always let some of that go in her presence. It was like a secret they shared. “You haven’t been.”

 

“You’re right. I don’t,” Pearl tried not to stutter, tried to ignore the burning in her cheeks, the feeling of heat that pooled in her stomach and Gem. “Garnet we should—“

 

Garnet knew that Pearl was going to say something about propriety, and she also knew that she didn’t mean it. There were enough possible outcomes flashing through her mind, some clearer than others, where something Pearl would have deemed inappropriate came of this—this moment—that Garnet didn’t think it would be such a bad thing to take one and make it a reality. 

 

“To victory: cheers,” Garnet cut in, leaning in to press her lips sloppily at the corner of Pearl’s mouth. She saw Pearl’s eyes go wide, felt her tense in her grip, and wondered briefly if she’d made the wrong call, and whether she could pass it off as a joke. Ruby and Sapphire were handsy, and she’d been drinking, after all, and in the heat of victory things could get out of hand, and…

 

And then Pearl turned into the kiss hesitantly, brushing her lips against Garnet’s. The kiss was chaste, and gentle, but the electrifying spark between them was impossible to ignore—and more than that, they pulled away knowing full well the other had felt it just as strongly.

 

“Ch… cheers,” Pearl stammered uncertainly, rewarded by the sight of a dark flush on Garnet’s cheeks that mirrored her own. And then, to Garnet’s surprise, she leaned back in for another quick peck. “To victory.”

 

Maybe these parties weren’t so bad.

 


	21. Vacation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garnet and Pearl take a trip to Mask Island.

Garnet opted to get the laptop while Pearl finished collecting herself. She left through one of the longer paths out of the boiler room, crossing a few hallways to buy time before she left through a door that her Gems could connect to the Temple entrance. Bounding off of the couch, Steven greeted her with a hug, and when asked, he relinquished the laptop without question. The Fusion tousled his hair with one hand, earning a bright smile. 

 

“You and Amethyst’ll be fine alone, right?” Garnet knew the answer and wouldn’t have been warping anywhere if the odds weren’t in favor of the boy’s safety, but it was clear from the way Steven puffed out his chest that the question made him feel more secure. After last night, he probably needed it. 

 

“We’ll be fine,” Steven said, and Garnet gave a curt nod, tucking his laptop safely under one arm. As she made her way toward the warp pad, she paused in time to hear the boy ask, quietly, “Garnet?”

 

“Yes, Steven?” Garnet glanced back toward where he sat on the couch. 

 

Steven fidgeted, ending in a sigh. “It’s nothing.”

 

“It’s not nothing,” Garnet insisted, “But if you don’t want to ask, you don’t need to.” 

 

He nodded, and Garnet knew he was giving it real thought. She pushed the possibilities away, preferring to let Steven surprise her.

 

“Is Pearl okay?” he asked finally, “After what happened last night…”

 

“You could ask her,” Garnet reminded him gently, pushing her visor up. “But… yes. We talked about it. Everyone was more worried about your safety. Pearl will be fine.”

 

Relief spread across his soft face, like clouds parting to reveal the sun, and Garnet smiled back. “I’m really glad.”

 

“We all are. Last night was successful, and that’s what matters.”

 

Steven said nothing for another moment. There were plenty of things that mattered more than the end result in his mind, but Garnet was the leader for a reason. And, then; “Are you and Pearl… you two’re okay? Both of you?”

 

The Fusion chuckled. “We’re better than okay,” she said, earning a quizzical look. Garnet shook her head, opting not to elaborate without Pearl’s input. “You have nothing to worry about, Steven. We’re fine. The blog idea of yours was perfect.” 

 

“What was perfect, Garnet?” Pearl asked, catching only the tail end of her words as the Temple door opened for her. Steven wondered briefly why she was coming from Garnet’s room, but didn’t have to wonder long. The Gems were always coming out of doors they couldn’t open from the outside. 

 

“Steven’s blog idea,” Garnet explained, glad for her timing. Pearl’s entrance meant that Steven likely wouldn’t question further. Immediately, Pearl’s entire countenance lit up.

 

 

“Oh! Yes! Steven, it was a wonderful idea. Thank you!” Pearl’s pale eyes shone with joy, and she clasped her hands together, turning to Garnet. “I can’t believe we never thought of something like it before… It would’ve been so useful…”

 

“The Internet _is_ a recent invention,” Garnet said, nodding toward the warp. “We should get going while there’s light.”

 

“Where?” Steven asked, pleasantly perplexed by the strange change between the other Gems. He couldn’t pick out what, exactly, was different, but the air seemed lighter between them. The tension of the last few weeks, certainly, was gone, and he didn’t think it was because of Peridot.

 

“Oh…” Pearl paused, looking up at Garnet searchingly. “Where _did_ we want to go for this?”

 

“Mask Island. It’s a good change of scenery,” Garnet said, “I think the viewers will like it.” Pearl laughed at the idea, but made no contrary suggestion. “We’ll be back soon, Steven. Keep an eye on Peridot, and don’t let Amethyst pour anything black in the sink.” 

 

Steven agreed promptly—as if he were going to argue and risk losing access to the only other sink in his house—and Garnet motioned for Pearl to take her place at her side on the warp pad. Pearl joined her, jumping a little when Garnet hooked arms with her. It had happened hundreds of times before, but that didn’t change her embarrassment. Things were different today, and her cheeks glowed a faint turquoise at the contact. 

 

“We’ll see you later, Steven!” Pearl called, waving with her free hand as the warp glowed brilliantly, and with a flash, they were gone. 

 

 

Mask Island was as beautiful as any other time they had visited; many centuries ago, they had considered setting up their base there, but Rose found the mainland more appealing. The geode formations in the mountain were made of Earth crystals similar to the ones that grew in Amethyst’s room in the Temple, and Pearl had long enjoyed the natural waterfalls that flowed from them, even if she never quite figured out the physics of it all. Still, the Earth didn’t always make sense. Some things were just so.

 

Garnet’s arm never left hers as they walked in silence, away from the warp pad, up a winding path, and Pearl didn’t mind one bit. She basked in the warmth of Garnet’s company, pressing her cheek into her shoulder. Garnet led the way, up to an outcropping of rocks with a magnificent view of the island, and they settled in together under a flowering fruit tree. 

 

“I like this,” Pearl said finally, fidgeting a little with her hands in her lap for a moment. Garnet paused in setting the laptop up to reach for her, giving her fingers a warm squeeze.

 

“Being alone together?”

 

 

Pearl nodded, turning her hand to squeeze back. “It’s nice. Just you and me.” The paler Gem considered, adding; “It’s peaceful. I missed it.”

 

“It’s been hectic,” Garnet agreed, setting the video program to record and leaning back against the tree at her partner’s side. Pearl almost withdrew her hand, tried without much conviction, and Garnet instead laced their fingers together. The contact was welcome. Reassuring. The Fusion smiled. “I suppose we owe our followers an apology.”

 

Pearl’s gaze was locked on their hands, joined in her lap, and she nodded faintly. “I… suppose,” she said, “I’m still not sure why they _do_ follow us—“

 

“Does it matter?” Garnet asked, tugging her shades away. Her third eye stayed gently closed, but the remaining two were completely focused on Pearl. “It’s an excuse to talk. I don’t know that last night would have happened without the progress we’ve made in the last month alone.”

 

Bringing up the previous night’s activities brought a flush to Pearl’s cheeks, and she ducked her head, unable to hide both her smile and her embarrassment. “You’re right,” she murmured, “I really am glad we decided to do this.” 

 


	22. All's Fair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On Mask Island, anything goes.

“I am, too,” Garnet said smoothly, and Pearl felt the heat in her cheeks increase tenfold. Her tone suggested something more than the ask blog, and Pearl was acutely aware of Garnet’s hand around hers, of their fingers woven together. Garnet’s thumb rubbed along the back of her hand, and she felt an electric shiver go through her entire being.

 

“R-right! Questions,” Pearl said abruptly, leaning toward the computer to get a look at what was available. It seemed Garnet had already highlighted one, and Pearl read it aloud:

 

 

> _Anonymous asked: Garnet, what do you like most about Pearl? Pearl, what do you like most about Garnet?_

 

Pearl stared, then flushed anew, staring quizzically at Garnet, who had a broad grin on her face. “ _Garnet_!”

 

“I don’t think it’s unfair to ask.” Garnet shrugged, “But you have to answer first, because I don’t want to stump you.”

 

 

The perplexed look that crossed Pearl’s flushed face, open and unprepared and _vulnerable_ in a way that the Fusion knew she wouldn’t show around the others, very nearly tempted Garnet to move in for a kiss, but she refrained. For now. Instead, she simply smiled, keeping her expression otherwise neutral.

 

Flustered, but unable to come up with a coherent argument, Pearl pulled a face that strongly resembled a pout—and Garnet knew better than to call it such. “I’ll return the favor,” she murmured, squeezing Garnet’s fingers tightly. It wasn’t much of a threat, and they both knew it.

 

“I look forward to it.”

 

Pearl said nothing for a bit, opting to ignore the blithe comeback. Of course Garnet was looking forward to it, she could see anything Pearl could come up with long before it occurred to her. The smaller Gem sulked, simultaneously mulling over the question.

 

Meanwhile, Garnet idly stroked the back of Pearl’s hand with her thumb, half apologetically, half to keep her from getting too lost in her own head. Not that they couldn’t edit minutes of silence out of the video if need be.

 

“Your eyes,” Pearl said abruptly, staring down at their hands as if mesmerized. “If we’re talking about physical features. But I think you’ve known that… I don’t suppose that’s a very good answer.” She flushed, as she had been doing all too easily of late. “I don’t think it’s fair to choose—”

 

“Pearl.”

 

“—I mean, picking apart favorite physical properties is absolutely silly, we’re _Gems_ , we can shapeshift anytime if necessary, and our bodies are illusions; it’s such a _human_ notion, really, but—“

 

“ _Pearl_.”

 

“—It’s really impossible _not_ to notice them, that is, when you’re not wearing your visor. It’s so rare these days, but I love to just _look._ You know as well as I do how unusual three eyes are, but yours especially, they’re each so bright and clear—I can see Ruby and Sapphire in you, especially your eyes, but you’ve got a lovely plum undertone in your lower pair, too, and your third eye just shines so wonderfully in the light, it’s such a warm shade and—“

 

The compliments were quickly becoming more than Garnet could take, and once it was abundantly clear that Pearl’s babbling would never end she leaned in, pressing her lips to the other Gem’s tenderly to cut her off. The result was instantaneous; Pearl made an undignified noise of surprise against her lips, but she did stop talking, instead leaning in to return the kiss.

 

Garnet drew away shortly, and she couldn’t smother the burning satisfaction in her chest when Pearl tried to follow her for more.

 

“Thank you,” Garnet said quietly, “No one’s ever said anything like that to me.”

 

Even among their comrades during the latter half of the war, her third eye had been a beacon to remind them that she was fused at all times; she’d shortly taken to wearing her visor at all times, ready to fight at a moment’s notice, but also to keep the others comfortable. It was safer, kept Pearl from having to defend her against other Gems.

 

She’d known for centuries that Pearl liked her third eye, but the extent had been lost on her. In their respective Gems, Garnet could feel Sapphire and Ruby’s combined embarrassment and pleasure at the compliments as well.

 

Pearl’s cheeks were flushed a dark teal, but she smiled, obviously flustered. “That wasn’t fair,” she murmured, “I wasn’t finished.”

 

Garnet felt her face warm in response, and she laughed, surprised by the fluttering sensation in her core. “I had to stop you somehow,” Garnet explained, reaching to smooth Pearl’s bangs away from her Gem. “I’ll never get my turn if I let you continue, now will I?”

 

“I wasn’t aware there was a time limit,” Pearl said softly, catching Garnet’s hand and pressing her cheek into it, against the familiar cut of Sapphire’s Gem. The cool feeling was a stark contrast to Garnet’s warmth, a reminder of the friends that weren’t quite lost, but that she hadn’t seen in ages. But it didn’t hurt to think about Ruby and Sapphire being out of reach, not when Garnet was there.

 

She could see them in her, and that cut the longing to something manageable. That they were happy, and together, and still near—Pearl could handle that.

 

Even if she still felt like there were individual apologies due, she would wait for the right time, wherever and whenever that was. Garnet had made it abundantly clear that she wouldn’t leave her, even before they had decided to embark on a different relationship path, and Pearl didn’t doubt that Ruby and Sapphire had some say in that decision.

 

“Pearl,” Garnet said, cutting into her thoughts, and the other Gem looked up at her automatically. The Fusion smiled. “There’s no time limit for us. But the laptop _does_ need electricity to run, and we’re not near a power source.” And with her luck, she would demolish the entire thing with her own powers. It wasn’t like Greg’s van.

 

“Oh!” Pearl squeaked, “W-well then. I suppose it _is_ your turn.”


	23. Endless Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garnet answers the question from the previous chapter.

 

Mask Island was a reasonably peaceful place, now that the invisible corrupted Gem was taken care of, and Garnet was glad that she had picked it for their escapade. Pearl seemed more relaxed out of the house—certainly without Peridot to worry about—and although they couldn’t upload their videos until they returned home, Garnet was glad for that, too. Steven still needed to find out properly.

 

“My favorite thing about you…” Garnet hummed softly, turning her gaze skyward as if in thought. In reality, she’d contemplated the answer to this question since receiving it weeks ago, both while she was still upset with her partner and in the aftermath of their healing.

 

She didn’t have to look to know that Pearl’s eyes were on her, curious and unsure, and the hand in hers clung just a little tighter. Ruby’s Gem sent a surge of warmth between them, reassuring, but perhaps a little too strong—Pearl loosened her grip, stung, and Garnet moved to take her hand in both, letting Sapphire’s Gem ease the feeling with her magic.

 

“You’re adaptable,” the Fusion decided, “You know how to love, when to fight, when diplomacy is the better bet—“ something she and Ruby struggled with to this day, “—You’re graceful, and beautiful, and precise and dangerous. Your pride is well-earned, and your confidence is growing. I love that. You’ve learned so many things since we came to Earth, and grown and changed so much; I love that, too. I love watching you grow into a better you. Every day, I see how much you try, how much you’ve changed since we met, and it’s inspiring. You inspire me to do the same.”

 

Pearl’s cheeks were ablaze, jaw slack, and Garnet smiled, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. “I warned you it might stump you if I answered first.”

 

Unable to form a coherent answer, Pearl managed a nod, drawing Garnet’s hands up to kiss her knuckles in thanks.

 

“I also,” Garnet added, “Like your butt. If we’re talking purely physic—“

 

“ _Garnet_!”

 

The Fusion laughed, clear and loud and without restraint, and Pearl’s discomfort melted away to awe. Garnet was one of the most beautiful Gems she had ever met, made her feel things long dormant, and the rarity of the moment was not lost on her. Garnet laughed, but it was rarely, if ever, with her entire body, and even if the joke was somewhat at her expense, Pearl couldn’t find a single mote of light it in her body that could begrudge the Fusion.

 

 

“Sorry,” Garnet said, not sounding very sorry at all, but Pearl shook her head, unable to hide a smile. The darker Gem leaned in to plant a light kiss on Pearl’s Gem, careful not to pass her future vision along—it was so easy to do, but such an erratic power that she tried to keep it to herself as much as possible. “I also love the sound of your voice. Even when it cracks like that.”

 

“You’re just listing off everything you can think of,” Pearl protested weakly, thoroughly embarrassed. “That’s not fair.”

 

“It isn’t?” Garnet’s eyes shone with mischief, “I can’t pick just one thing. I’ll have to say that my favorite is everything about you.”

 

Pearl’s cheeks were flushed, but she averted her gaze, suddenly quite interested in the ground. “That’s a bit much, isn’t it…?” she whispered, “We both know I’m not perfect.”

 

Garnet cupped her chin, leaning in and coaxing Pearl’s face toward hers with surprising gentleness. She waited, almost nose-to-nose with the smaller Gem, for Pearl to meet her eyes. When she did, it was with visible reluctance, and Garnet knew she was worrying about more than her recent mistakes with Connie and at the Hub. “I don’t want you to _be_ perfect, Pearl,” Garnet said firmly. Blue eyes widened at the idea, and Pearl looked ready to protest, but Garnet’s index finger on her lips silenced her.

 

“I want you, and I want who you’ll be tomorrow, and who you’ll be a thousand years from now. I want your rough edges, and your mistakes, and your good and bad times, and everything else.” There were the beginnings of tears filling Pearl’s round eyes, and Garnet closed the distance between them to kiss them away. “I can love everything about you equally without expecting you to be something you’re not.”

 

Expectations of perfection were the norm on Homeworld, and Pearl had never quite shaken that—but then, until very recently, she’d still been standing in Rose’s shadow, and Rose Quartz _was_ perfection, in every way that Pearl understood the term. Never mind her questionable taste in partners (that she sported with humans had made Pearl’s skin crawl for centuries, and still would if Steven weren’t so wonderful), their leader had been a pillar of infinite goodness, of radical ideas for change and _good_ , and boundless beauty and grace—and Pearl could never hope to hold a candle.

 

Rose had never said anything like that to her, and neither had she shown Rose her bad side; Garnet knew, by virtue of having been her confidante and friend all along, feelings that Rose never would have tolerated. Garnet knew of her jealous streak, saw her bitterness, and had weathered her terrible, selfish judgment.

 

And she still wanted her, for and despite all that.

 

Pearl threw herself into waiting arms, hugging Garnet with all her strength. Garnet grunted as the air was squeezed out of her lungs, but returned the embrace. One hand cradled the back of Pearl’s neck while the other spanned the breadth of her lower back, fingers tucked under the sash at her waist.

 

“I know you’ve got a long way to go before you see what I do,” Garnet said quietly, “But I can promise you, Pearl, I’ll be here with you to see it. You’re stuck with me.”

 

Despite herself, Pearl shook her head against Garnet’s broad shoulder. “Stuck is not the word,” she mumbled. “I’m so happy… It feels like I could fly.”

 

Garnet knew the feeling all too well, and she ran long fingers through Pearl’s hair, earning a blissful sigh for her efforts. “I think I like you here on the ground with me, thank you,” the Fusion teased, “But I’m glad you feel that way with me.”

 

For a handful of moments, Pearl said nothing, simply curling into her partner’s embrace and enjoying the closeness. They both breathed out of habit more than anything else, but it was easy to synchronize something like that at close quarters, and Pearl breathed in Garnet’s scent as she re-centered herself.

 

 

“I think I always have. I think that’s why Sardonyx brings dragonflies,” she admitted quietly, thinking back to the first time they had fused. Long before she could imitate humans and their showgirls, Sardonyx had still appeared in a flurry of transparent wings and white light. Pearl liked them well enough, but neither she nor Garnet had a particular affinity to them. They were lovely, but there were other Earth natives that were lovely, too.

 

Garnet smiled, knowing Pearl couldn’t see her face. Magic was funny that way, and Sardonyx had a sense of humor unrivaled. “Maybe,” she conceded, nudging Pearl with her chin. “Speaking of Sardonyx…”

 

“Hm?”

 

“…We have a question about her.”


	24. Song of Ages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl and Garnet are still on Mask Island, answering questions about Sardonyx this time!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics are cobbled together from S.E.S' "Dreams Come True" (English and Korean translations), and "Sora E" from Strange Dawn.

> _Anonymous asked: When did you first form Sardonyx_?

 

Tearing her attention away from Garnet was painstaking, but Pearl had to indulge in her curiosity. Becoming Sardonyx was a rarity and always had been; not that they hadn’t been _able_ to fuse for hundreds of years, but Sardonyx’s precision and strength hadn’t often been a necessity while Rose Quartz had been alive. She leaned toward the computer, scrolling through unanswered questions.

 

“There’re more than one,” she said, genuinely surprised.

 

Garnet’s arms slipped around her middle, tugging the lithe Gem into her lap easily. Pearl made a noise of surprise, high pitched and involuntary, but it was far from a protest; she settled in, gingerly folding her ankles to the side and laying her hands on top of the bigger Gem’s. Garnet grinned around her shoulder. “Shall we answer both, then?”

 

“We might as well,” Pearl agreed, leaning into her partner’s embrace. “Do you remember exactly when we first fused…?”

 

“Deliberately, or our _first_ -first time?” Garnet asked, enjoying the flush the question brought to Pearl’s cheeks. “Because the _absolute_ first time, I believe, you were under a certain songstress’ influence…”

 

Pearl hid her face in her hands. She remembered all too well, despite Chrysoprase’s inadvertent hand in the event. It had been at one of Rose Quartz’s many parties, the ones that had grown on Pearl only after Garnet had become steady in maintaining her form. She wasn’t alone with Garnet there, and they danced often, enjoyed everything but the food and drink that Rose provided for some of their more adventurous comrades to indulge in.

 

Chrysoprase could move Gems with her voice and sometimes did so without meaning to. She sang songs from many worlds, in many languages long forgotten, and sometimes it was too easy to get carried away reveling. Pearl hadn’t meant to get carried away with her music, but Garnet had taken to spinning her toward the centre of the dance hall, and somewhere along the line, Pearl had given up protesting.

 

_Funny how I feel for you,_

_Because I’ll love you by myself_

_No matter how small love is,_

_You’re near me in my dreams as I paint the future_

_Here we lie, heart to heart_

_Perfect night for keeping you solely,_

_Let all the world drift apart_

_And whisper in my ear in secrecy,_

_You wash away my insecurity…_

 

“That lasted only _seconds_!” she protested, voice muffled by her palms. Seconds or no, it was hard to forget the remains of Rose’s entire army staring at them afterwards, or Rose Quartz and her twenty dozen question quiz after the party, none of which she had adequate answers for. “I hardly think it counts if I was… _inebriated_ at the time!”

 

Garnet laughed, grin never wavering. But she took pity on the pink-haired Gem, reaching to smooth her fingers through her short hair. “So not 4,630 years ago…” she said gently.

 

“Has it really been that long?” Pearl asked, sobering somewhat at the thought. It had been so close to the end of the war, but Pearl had stopped keeping track, lost the will shortly thereafter to recall every change in the uphill fight that was the rebellion. “Gosh… we didn’t try again until much later. Centuries after the final strike.”

 

“Technically, we did _try_ … we just didn’t succeed,” Garnet said, humming thoughtfully. Pearl suspected that had something to do with her insecurities, but said nothing. “So closer to 3,200 years ago, then? We were in Asia, that time.”

 

“I remember that much,” Pearl said, thumbing her jaw thoughtfully. “My, she’s changed quite a lot, hasn’t she? She looked like this—“ she said, and a flickered image of the Fusion appeared before her, draped in open-silk sleeves and a circus performer’s skirt, one they’d seen in their travels across the continent.

 

 

As ever, Sardonyx’s image smiled and spun, with bells that would have jingled if Pearl’s projections had sound. Strangely, Pearl didn’t regret the decision not to form her anytime soon. She loved being Sardonyx, vastly preferred it to being herself, but there was something wildly different between losing herself to bright light and magic, to the ultimate _elegance_ that was their Fusion, and finding herself here—whole and solid and herself, with all of her inadequacies, sat in Garnet’s lap, alone on an island away from home.

 

Somehow, the latter was more appealing.

 

The image of Sardonyx flickered and faded, and Pearl turned to look up at Garnet, glad to see her smile matched by the Fusion. Garnet leaned in, nuzzling her cheek affectionately, and Pearl flushed. “She’s grown a lot. Like we have,” Garnet affirmed. “On to the next, then?”

 

> _Anonymous asked: Does being Sardonyx feel different than other fusions? If it does, when did you first notice?_

 

Garnet read the question out loud this time, and let Pearl mull it over in silence. She’d thought about it already—but she was interested in Pearl’s response, more than she wanted to tell humans about the intimate odds and ends of how Fusion worked.

 

“I… suppose the first time?” Pearl asked hopefully, looking to Garnet for affirmation. Her partner nodded for her to continue. “I mean, it was my first time fusing at all, and we couldn’t maintain it, but it’s nothing like forming Opal. It—it’s different, it’s like being out of body, like watching a… a show, being swept up in the magic.” She paused, shaking her head, “I can’t explain it. I’m terrible with abstracts.”

 

“You’re doing fine,” Garnet said gently, “You were scared the first time. We can talk about the second time instead, if it’s easier.”

 

There Garnet was, always accommodating her. Pearl nodded slightly, turning in her lap to look up at the Fusion for a long moment, reaching to tuck her hair behind her ear. “We were in a forest, on a mission…”

 

“Rose sent us alone on a lot of those,” Garnet interjected with a lopsided grin. “You found a clearing near a brook on our way back to the warp pad.”

 

“The flowers!” Pearl’s smile brightened, “I remember, I’d never seen so many orchids! I wanted to see them all, to show Rose, they were too delicate to bring home…”

 

“And there was a fairy ring,” Garnet continued for her, “With mushrooms and no flowers to disturb, and you asked me to dance.”

 

Blue flooded Pearl’s face, bloomed across her cheeks, and she glanced away. “R-really? I thought you asked.”

 

“It was definitely you,” Garnet laughed at the memory, at Pearl’s shyness. She hadn’t been so shy then. But Pearl was funny about her confidence, especially in the centuries after the war. Garnet rubbed her shoulder reassuringly. “You asked me to sing so we’d have something to dance to.”

 

Pearl remembered. She remembered Garnet making a song up on the spot, something about the beautiful things they had seen in the span of their time on this planet. Garnet’s voice was deep and clear, and Pearl had spun neatly into waiting arms, and they danced inside the fairy ring without disturbing the fungi around the edge.

 

_Ah, a field of flowers_

_Winds, clouds, sands, and seas,_

_That no one has seen before_

_It will shine for eternity_

_The forests, the flowers, the stars and the moon_

_That dispel the loneliness_

_I don’t know the answer to yesterday yet_

_To the sky! Don’t let any moment escape_

_To the sky! It’s not for anyone else_

_There is nothing to fear,_

_As if the song of love is reaching_

_The seasons rotate as if the song of love is resounding_

_Spreading my hands, I continue to wish_

 

And Sardonyx had been born out of that lovely song, big and loud and bright, and her dragonflies had scattered about the field, settling on the flowers and trees around them. She was whole and content and safe this time, brimming with love and light and youthful energy, a new Fusion—and they’d wanted to show her off, show her to Rose Quartz, but balked at the last second.

 

Sardonyx had been their secret for a while afterwards, but the secret didn’t last. Pearl hadn’t been able to hide it from Rose Quartz, and Garnet hadn’t wanted her to. They fused a few times afterwards, at their leader’s request.

 

“She’s… definitely different from forming Opal,” Pearl said finally, “When Amethyst and I fuse, it’s like everything goes _quiet_ , and clear, and… peaceful. It’s calm. It’s so quiet it’s hard to maintain.”

 

Garnet laughed. “When Amethyst and _I_ fuse, it’s a party,” she said, “It’s loud and energetic, and we get carried away—and hard to stay _me_. Sugilite is always ready to stay fused… for better or worse.”

 

“And Rainbow Quartz, she was…” Pearl started, then shook her head. Thinking about Rose, fusing with Rose, hurt. “Different.”

 

“In a good way?” Garnet prodded, “You don’t have to answer. But now you’ve got me wondering.”

 

Pearl looked up at her, startled, and said nothing for a long moment while she weighed her options. Then, finally, she shook her head. “Sardonyx is more fun,” she whispered, and it felt like blasphemy. “I… I prefer Sardonyx.”

 

Garnet hadn’t expected that. She stared down at Pearl, who wilted under her scrutiny, and finally the Fusion leaned in to nudge at her nose, drawing her gaze. “I’m honored,” she murmured, “That you would pick us over Rainbow Quartz.”


	25. Interlude - Circular Logic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl and Garnet talking about love before they realize their feelings for one another, set in the '80s.

> Prompt:  _leg-warmer era pearlnet talking about love before they know they love eachother_

 

* * *

 

 

“It doesn’t make sense!” Pearl paced, having long worn a trail in the sand. Garnet watched, bemused, but knew that she needed to stop sooner than later. They had a mission coming up whenever Rose returned from her… antics… with Greg, and Pearl had much more important things to worry about when that time came.

 

“You’ve said that for days,” Garnet said, and Pearl stopped mid-stride to look up at her. “You’ve said it, but I don’t think you’re really thinking about it.”

 

“What does that mean?” Pearl scowled, turning on her heel to resume her pacing. “I am thinking about it. It’s all I can think about! They _didn’t_ Fuse, so why—“

 

“It means,” Garnet cut in, “That you’re obsessing about being upset. Not thinking.”

 

“Oh! You don’t even know,” Pearl huffed, finally coming to stand in front of the Fusion, arms akimbo. “And of course I’m upset. And you know _why_!”

 

Of course Garnet knew why. Pearl and Rose had never officially separated, but it was very, very evident that her relationship with Greg was a different sort of exclusive than past flings with humans. The Fusion sighed. Their relationship was unnecessarily complicated. “Have you considered talking to Rose?”

 

“Garnet!” Pearl looked scandalized, “And what would I say? ‘Rose, we spied on you and Mr. Universe _dancing_ , and Garnet claims you successfully _Fused’_?”

 

The taller Gem laughed. “You could start with, ‘Rose, I’m jealous of Greg—‘”

 

“No! Absolutely not!” Pearl threw her arms up in the air. “For starters, I’m _not_ —“

 

“Yes, you are.”

 

“—He’s not _worth_ being jealous of! He’s a phase! He’s just another toy!” Pearl’s pacing had stopped, at least, and that was something. She folded her arms again, refusing to look anywhere near Garnet’s face. Instead, she stared out at the sea. Garnet waited, watched her lifelong friend’s anger slowly burn out. Pearl’s shoulders sagged, and her pale blue eyes dropped to the sand. “ _Why_ is he her favorite, Garnet?” she asked miserably, “What am I doing wrong? I can do anything he can—more!—and still, she…”

 

Pearl trailed off, and Garnet let her. The Fusion considered many answers, but several led to more tantrums. This wasn’t the first conversation they had exchanged over Rose’s infidelity, and Garnet wasn’t sure it would be the last. Finally, Garnet stepped forward and opened her arms, giving Pearl the opportunity to take or reject the hug, but they both knew what her choice would be. Pearl’s lithe arms wound around Garnet’s waist the way they had a thousand times before, the way they likely would a thousand more times, and Garnet engulfed her small shoulders in a hug.

 

“Love is complicated. More so with humans,” Garnet said slowly, “You know Rose as well as I do. She loves them all.”

 

“Too much,” Pearl mumbled bitterly, leaning her cheek against Garnet’s bust. “I’m right _here_. Why can’t it just be me? Why am I never enough?”

 

Garnet didn’t have an answer to that, not one Pearl was prepared for, and she sighed. After several thousand years, she knew Pearl well enough to safely assume that she would _never_ fully understand that her unwavering devotion wasn’t the sort of love Rose yearned for. Garnet herself didn’t understand it either. “You would have to ask Rose,” she said finally, stroking strawberry pink hair softly. Pearl tensed, then relaxed into her touch. “I don’t have all the answers.” She paused, “I don’t think the problem lies in how much you offer, Pearl.”

 

“It must,” Pearl insisted stubbornly, “Or this wouldn’t keep happening.”

 

Garnet hummed, and Pearl recognized it as a sound of disagreement. The petite Gem closed her eyes, giving Garnet a tight squeeze, and Garnet squeezed back, reluctant to let her heartbroken friend out of her grip. “It takes two Gems—or people—to make a relationship,” Garnet said quietly, “I think some of this lies in both your hands. You need to be open and honest, or else this _will_ keep happening. Both you and Rose should be having this conversation, not me.”

 

“But Garnet…” Pearl protested, knowing she was right, and simultaneously knowing full well that she could never have this exchange with the Gem she loved most. She dropped her voice. “What if she ends ‘us’? I couldn’t…”

 

“Do you really think, after so long, Rose would drop what you’ve had over a conversation? You deserve a definitive answer, Pearl,” Garnet said firmly, gesturing to Pearl’s tracks in the sand. “Otherwise it’ll just come back to this again and again.”

 

Pearl pressed her face against Garnet’s chest, refusing to answer, for the moment, and then heaved a shaky sigh. Garnet wasn’t sure if she were close to tears—with Pearl it could go either way—or if she’d gotten past the urge. “I’m scared to,” Pearl admitted in a whisper that Garnet could scarcely make out, “This isn’t so bad. I can wait. It’s only a few decades, if that.”

 

Garnet had a feeling that this time was different, but that feeling was impossible to put into words; it made no sense. Her future vision was only so clear here on Earth; there were too many factors, too many turns and twists in the flow of time. “If you’re sure,” Garnet said slowly, and Pearl nodded.

 

“…Thank you, Garnet,” Pearl whispered, finally drawing away, “You always make me feel better when we talk.”

 

“Of course,” Garnet said warmly, running her fingers through her hair one last time before adjusting her visor. “You can always talk to me. I’ll give you whatever help I can.” Something flickered at the peripheral of her vision, and she glanced aside, catching sight of Amethyst and Rose approaching from the Temple. “And just in time, too. It looks like we’re up for a mission.”

 

“I’m ready.” Pearl drew in one last shuddering breath, pushing down her uncertainty and her worries, bottling them up for another day. Then she put on a practiced smile, running to meet Rose and Amethyst midway. The purple Gem bounded into her, but Pearl caught her easily, and Garnet followed without hurrying. These conversations always ended the same, with Pearl in or near tears, and with a dull ache in Garnet’s chest that she didn’t need to identify.

 

Maybe one day Pearl would learn. Maybe.

 

Garnet didn’t see that future coming anytime soon.

 


	26. I Would Be So Pleased

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garnet and Pearl are still on Mask Island, but their vacation is due to end soon. They might as well make the best of it.

_I’m honored, that you would pick us over Rainbow Quartz._

 

Pearl felt her cheeks color deeply at Garnet’s words, and she ducked her head. Garnet, more than anyone else, understood how serious such a statement was, coming from her. Still, she had to avert her eyes, suddenly quite interested in a nearby rock formation. She found one of Garnet’s hands to cling to, idly rubbing her thumb over the other Gem’s knuckles, and Garnet let her.

 

“It’s not just because she’s more fun,” Pearl said at length, “It’s… There was always something else, some barrier, something between us when Rose and I fused. Like she was holding something back. I couldn’t reach her.”

 

Garnet was quiet for a moment, then tightened her hold minimally on the other Gem. Pearl’s slim waist fit neatly with her arm around it, like nothing were more natural. “We definitely don’t have that problem, as Sardonyx,” Garnet agreed quietly, “I think we’re usually very open with each other when we’re fused.”

 

Barring the recent debacle, Pearl thought sourly. She sighed, pushing the guilt aside as best she could, and brought Garnet’s hand up to brush her lips across her fingers. “When we’re Sardonyx, it feels like… like we’re all together,” she murmured, “You, me, Ruby, and Sapphire, all at once. And I know it’s not possible outside of Fusion.”

 

“You miss them,” Garnet said; it wasn’t a question, but Pearl nodded just the same. “Do you ever—“

 

“I won’t ask you to unfuse for me,” Pearl insisted, turning again to meet Garnet’s eyes. “I know it’s… complicated for you, in particular. I don’t want _you_ to be gone. But… Of course I miss them. We spent so much time together, how could I not? We were so close.”

 

Garnet hummed in agreement, tugging Pearl’s hand toward her chest, over her heart. “They miss you, too,” she assured the smaller Gem, “But we all appreciate that you don’t want me to unfuse. Especially after all this time.”

 

Thousands of years ago Pearl might have wished it; one day, Garnet’s existence had just become functionally permanent—Ruby and Sapphire settled into being Garnet in less than the span of a century, even going so far as to remain permanently fused toward the end of the war. They eased into their relationship, into existing as one, and that had left Pearl with one best friend instead of two.

 

It was strange to think that there had been a single day where Ruby and Sapphire had really stopped being a fixture in her life, where the two had been replaced by the Gem she loved so very differently now. One day, Garnet had really come into herself, and Ruby and Sapphire had been happy to let her exist without breaks—at least, without voluntary ones.

 

“Of course I don’t. It’s bad enough I made you—“

 

“Pearl,” Garnet cut her off, “Is it really worth bringing that up now? We should be enjoying ourselves.”

 

Garnet was right, of course, but Pearl’s guilt still gnawed at her weeks later. She sighed, pressing her face into Garnet’s chest briefly. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly, earning a warm hug for her apology.

 

“Do you want to answer more?” Garnet asked, “There’s still some battery life left.”

 

Pearl was quiet a moment, then shook her head. “Could we…” she paused to consider, then, garnering up her courage, asked in a rush; “Could we dance? Just for fun. Not to Fuse.”

 

The Fusion chuckled, rising from where she sat and pulling Pearl up with her slowly. Pale hands gripped her arms, and Garnet locked her hands briefly around her waist. “I have a condition,” Garnet said smoothly, and Pearl looked briefly startled, but her partner’s warm smile put her at ease—or at least as much at ease as she could be with dragonflies swarming in her stomach.

 

“You do?” Pearl asked uncertainly. Garnet nodded, spinning her neatly.

 

“You get to sing this time,” she said, “I haven’t heard you sing in a while.” Longer than that, save duets at Steven’s request. Pearl had been uncharacteristically non-musical of late, and Garnet knew it was a lingering effect of their fight. Still, that was in the past.

 

Pearl’s cheeks heated immediately, blooming a brilliant blue. “Garnet! I… I’m not half as good as you,” she insisted. Dancing with a limited audience was one thing; the camera was not forgotten, and singing…

 

“I can sing with you,” Garnet offered, “If you pick the song.”

 

The alabaster Gem swallowed hard. There weren’t many duets she could think of, but if Garnet were willing to join their voices…

 

Pearl’s voice started out small, but carried. It wasn’t a Homeworld song this time; something she had picked up on Earth some years ago, a song from one of Greg’s silly disks that featured music nothing like the screaming nonsense he so preferred. It was melodic and soothing, and even if Pearl didn’t fully understand some of its meaning, she’d always liked it.

 

_Somewhere in a dream, perhaps another lifetime_

_I have seen your face, I have held you near,_

_Riding on a beam, the sun became your lifeline_

_Passing time and space, now you’re standing here_

 

Her hands slid up Garnet’s arms hesitantly, and Garnet settled both hands at her hips. Pearl sang, softly at first, but with rising confidence and volume as Garnet maneuvered her in a slow, easy dance—not quite a waltz (neither of them preferred that style), but neither was it anything more structured. Garnet moved slowly, supplying a soft hum to keep their pace. Pearl sang on.

_And born of heaven’s creation, your voice gently cries,_

_Saying, “I would be so pleased, I would take you by the hand_

_I would be so pleased, though I don’t know where I stand_

_I would take this chance, may I have this dance_

_I would be so pleased.”_  
  


_ _

 

To Pearl’s immense surprise, Garnet lifted her, pressing a light kiss to her crown before she took up the song.

_  
Now at last it’s real, finally you’ve found me_

_Knowing all along, you would soon appear_

_Through the dark I feel_

_Stardust all around me_

_Whispering a song, there’s no need to fear_  
  


Their voices mingled, and Pearl was surprised that she and Garnet could harmonize easily, effortlessly, despite the great difference in Garnet’s low alto and her soprano.

 

_And after some hesitation, my voice sweetly sighs_

_Singing, “I would be so pleased, to try and love again,_

_I would be so pleased, to love you now and then,_

_Formalities aside, no more love denied_

_I would be so pleased.”_  
  


To her surprise, Garnet took the next verse, guiding her in a familiar series of steps that took no thought at all to match. Garnet leaned in close, and Pearl stayed _en pointe_ to meet her gaze, almost nose-to-nose. __  
  


_Is what I’m worthy of, still I have my doubts_

_Could I live my life for love, after life so long without?_

_With so many ways to go, it makes it hard to see_

_I need so much more to know if it’s where I’m meant to be_  
  


Pearl paused then, words to the next verse completely forgotten. “Yes,” she said quietly, but with certainty that surprised even her. “I think it is.”

 

 


End file.
